To Kill A Mockingjay
by I Am The Bridge Jumping Friend
Summary: Everyone knows she died. But that's all they know. What really happened to Rue up until her death?
1. Chapter 1

**I'm back! For anyone of you who remember me and the whole "I hate you for your last story!" thing then I have good news for you! I'm writing again! I promise to you all, THIS STORY WILL NOT HAVE A BAD ENDING. Pinkie promise and you can't break a pinkie promise. If you do, Spongebob will hate you! I have a good idea on how to end this. So give it a chance. Reviews are appreciated, as always.**

**Comment of the Recent Update- **

**Best Friend-"What if they shove alien symbiosis down my throat?"**

**Me- "Fine then you don't have to ask her out." (He's kind of a chicken. He did ask though. He was sadly rejected.)**

**Review of the Week- Oops there's none. Take that as a hint to review!**

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My name was Rue. I was twelve years old when I died in the seventy-fourth Hunger Games. This is my account of the games.

I was born and raised in District 11. I worked in the orchards all day, almost every day. I was the oldest child in my family. Fiercely protective of the younger ones, I would do anything for them. We lived in poverty so I shared my rations of food with the five little ones. I had gone to bed hungry more than once.

I had had the day off. It was reaping day, the moment everyone feared that their child could be taken away forever. District 11 didn't have many victors. We weren't careers. Our entire district was dirt poor. Eating properly was an essential part to winning the games and we didn't receive much food.

Normally, I should have been working in the orchards, swinging from tree to tree and calling my four note song to the mockingjays to signal the day's end. Instead I was still in bed, sleeping. Well, only trying to sleep. I hadn't gotten a wink all night. I was too anxious about my first reaping. I had seen it many times, but this would be my first time participating.

Participating. That made it sound if it was some sort of game. Which in the Capitol's mind; it was. To the rest of Panem with the exclusion of the career districts, it was a sick punishment for the actions of our predecessors.

As I mentioned previously, I was lying in my bed staring at the ceiling hard, wishing more than anything for the roof of my small shack would disappear and I would take off, growing wings like a mockingjay. I wanted to soar away on days like this; when reality wasn't what I wanted.

Slowly, I rose from the bed, careful not to disturb the little ones I shared it with. They were all asleep. They had nothing to worry about. I was the one with my name entered in the reaping nine time; not them. Eight times, one for each member of my family and the ninth because it was required.

I entered our poor excuse of a kitchen. With rotten word cabinets and mice scurrying on the floor, it wasn't the most pleasant place to be. It was home though, no matter what anyone says. I took a seat at the modest table in the center of the room. My mother was already awake and had already started to make breakfast. The aroma of oatmeal filled my head. I could tell by lumps in it, it contained raisins and maybe anther dried fruit. That was a rare treat. Normally, we only had plain porridge.

My stomach rumbled and I hoped my mother hadn't heard. She didn't approve of my sharing with my siblings. "They need to learn they won't have enough food all the time. They should no hunger while they're young," she would tell me, "Besides, you need your strength. You have a very important job to accommodate to." My mother wasn't neglecting the little ones when she said this. She was just stating the facts of life, but if I can hide this life from them; it would have all been worth it.

"Are you hungry?" my mother asked and set empty bowls down in front of me and the remaining spots with no one there.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied politely. Manners were important in my family. Looking back, little things like this are what I miss most. I wish I was still with them.

"You have to wait for the rest of the family," she told me and I nodded. She smiled at my obedience. I knew my mother loved me; she had told me this on many occasions. I was her favorite child, her second born. I apparently had had an older sister, but she passed away right after birth. My mother had been devastated at the loss.

After some time, the rest of my family joined us. We ate in silence, not wanting to discuss the misery of the reaping. If we talked, we knew the event would somehow come up. Instead, we quietly ate our meal. I bit into a berry, feeling the juice trickle down my chin. I wiped my mouth with the back of my end, which earned me a frown from my mother at my lack of polite conduct.

"Why don't you get ready, Rue?" my mother said. It was more of a command then an actual question. I nodded and stood up from the table, making sure to say "Excuse me." After acquiring agreement from everyone, I went to the bedroom. I didn't have any nice clothing because I hadn't ever needed it and it was expensive. Much to my surprise, a lovely purple dress was lying on the hastily made bed done by one of my siblings. The garb looked vaguely familiar to me. I quickly slipped on the dress. It fit perfectly like it was designed particularly for me.

'How much had it cost?' I wondered. My family couldn't have afforded this. It wasn't extremely fancy but it was a nice dress. Then I remembered why it looked so recognizable. I had admired this dress when I was little. It had hung in my mother's tiny closet for as long as I could remember. She had worn it to her first few reapings until she outgrew it. She had kept it for me and the other little girls.

There was a knock on the door. "Yes?" I called. The door slowly opened and the second oldest, Marigold, peeked her head around it.

"Time to leave," she told me sadly, trying to manage a small smile.

"Okay," I muttered and left for the last time.

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In front of the Justice Building, our district gathered; immensely packed and claustrophobic. The run down store fronts had their windows boarded and their doors lock to prevent any theft that would have been hidden in this commotion. Because of the large population of District 11, I couldn't see any members of my family. They were probably watching on large screens positioned all around the district since only a small amount of people could actually see the stage where the events would play out and that was people like me: possible victims.

I had been herded to the back of the group where the other twelve year-olds were stationed. Since we only required our name entered once, there was a less chance of our slips being drawn. The May air was hot and muggy with no breeze whatsoever so this made standing in a crowd almost unbearable. The fact we were waiting for our deaths to be announced crossed the line to intolerable.

My heart was racing. My palms were sweaty and I rubbed them on my dress in attempt to soak up the moisture. I was a nervous wreck. No matter how many times my parents assured me my name could never be called; I was never convinced. Not only had I had no sleep last night, I had not had any for the entire week. Anxiety, insomnia, and lack of breathing room would kill me.

Or the Hunger Games would. I ridded my mind of that ugly thought.

The mayor stood from his cheap folding chair and took the microphone in one hand. He gave a small cough before beginning the speech we all had heard a thousand and one times: the history of Panem and the unjustifiable reason of the Hunger Games. I didn't listen. I had heard it enough times and the story made me more disgusted every time. It was unfair and tyranny!

I would have never shared any of these thoughts with anyone else besides myself. Thoughts like that could get you killed without the officials giving it a second thought. That was just the way it was.

The mayor traded places with our district escort, Harkens Desmiss. He was frightening to look at. This year his hair was spiked with alternating shades of blonde, brunette, red, and black coloured locks. This wasn't as bad as last year when he had long green hair matched with a deep red skin tone. His skin was a normal peach now. This made it slightly easier on the eyes to look at him.

He gave the signature "Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be _ever_ in your favor." Other escorts said the line with cheerfulness. Harkens made it sound ominous like it really was. It made you fearful and it wasn't because of him himself. He wasn't imposing on size or build. It was like he knew some dark secret no one else was aware of.

"Ladies first," Harkens spoke into the microphone. He reached into the large glass bin with the thousands of names. All but nine had others' names on them. But nine slips had my name written on them with a shaking hand.

There was an absolute silence when he read the name. A baby cried distantly and it was only a faint wail. It stopped as abruptly as it had started and I feared what had happened to the baby; and if it was my baby sister or not. Did the Capitol's men kill it? Did it really appear as that large of a distraction when I was the only one to show signs of hearing the little baby? The rest of the population was staring at the screens or directly at the stage, waiting for the name.

I wish I could have frozen time right there. Then I wouldn't have had to hear the name called out. Then I wouldn't have to deal with consequences of what Harkens was about to say.

He read out my name.

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**Chapter 1 completed. I'm already working on 2. Though I need to know if I should continue. There's not going to be much action right away; a little here and there but not a lot until the actual games begin. I'm making this up as I go so... let's see how this works out!**

**(Please pardon grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm terrible at that stuff. I can't tell the difference between a ; and a ,)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah it's kind of short (like me!) but I'm trying to match it with the chapters in the Hunger Games. But chapter two in the book mostly talks about how Katniss knows Peeta soooooo I couldn't exactly do the same with Rue since she didn't know Peeta. Yuppers... **

**Okay I have been really busy with basketball. I'm on two different teams. I've been trying to write as fast as I can. Just for whoever is bored enough to read this. So here you go. **

**Comment of the Day- A book we're reading for school said a guy smoked cannibis. My friend Ellen read it and shouted "He smokes cannibals!" Me and Tiger laughed so hard. She had no idea what was going on.**

**Review of the Day- Okay I got 3 reviews. I won't post any unless they're fun and/or funny. They don't even have to be about this story. You can just say hi or tell me how your bipolar science teacher is freaky or your old social studies teacher was a creep (I have bad teachers). It can be about your lunch or you pass funny notes during class or how those evil samurai iguanas plot behind your back. Anything at all. I don't care**

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Living in my district has always made me feel incredibly small, only of slight importance. Walking through the crowd made me shrink down even tinier. All eyes were trained on me. No one really knew me; those who did only knew I tended to be quiet. But they all recognized me. I was the one who sang from the trees. Most were wondering who would take m place; not whether or not I would live. They had already ruled out the chance of my survival. And the sad part was I agreed with them, unfortunately.

I shied away from the onlookers even though they had already created a pathway for me, moving this way and that to allow me through. I felt faint, like at any given moment I would fall, unconscious. I was panicking on the inside, but tried to hide it with a façade that I knew must not be very convincing since I felt sick to my stomach on the inside.

There was the general murmuring of abhor. Twelve-year-olds were still just children after all. It was not right. They were too young and innocent, ignorant of the world around them even though I knew we were not but I didn't argue with this in hopes of avoiding the games. Children shouldn't be involved in the games. Actually, no one should be. The Capitol was cruel and…

I stopped my thoughts once I realized what I was thinking. You could never be sure your thoughts were personal when the Capitol was around. They might have had invented a device that could reveal thoughts. If they had, I could have been thrown in jail or publicly whipped for what I opinionated about the Capitol. Possibly even killed depending on if the peacemakers wanted blood that day. They would never let an adolescent off any easier than an adult.

I reached the elevated stage and climbed the stairs; not bothering to skip every other step like I normally would have given the circumstances had been different. Silent as a ghost, I took my place to Harkens's left like seventy-three girls had done before. As silent as a ghost just like the seventy-two girls before me are now, not including our only female victor. As silent as a ghost that I would be soon.

"Congratulations," Harkens smiled at me. It didn't seem genuine though; it was more of a forced smile that didn't reach his eyes. Harkens seemed sad almost. I didn't comprehend why he would appear this way. Wasn't this what he lived for? Didn't he live; didn't he die; and didn't he breathe for the fantasy of a perfect world the games gave to the Capitol? I turned the thought over and over in my head, letting it distract me from my imminent death. I found no answer and was forced to face my impending death.

"Next: our boy tribute," he said and hurried to the glass bin containing the boys' names. He reached in, stirring the slips with his arm. Finally, he drew out a name and unfolded the slip of paper, slowly. The sound of it rustling echoed throughout District 11 because of the microphone. Everyone held their breath, not moving; the same way they acted with the girls' tribute drawing.

Harkens read out the name, revealing the tribute to be Thresh. Thresh was a rather large man, about eighteen years of age. I had only a vague sense of him; all I knew was that he was the best worker in the fields. He would load and carry the heavy baskets of fruit I had helped picked to the loading docks several miles away. When the top of the trees ran out of fruit, I would sometimes help him fill the baskets as part of my work. He was very quiet and not the brightest man, but he relied on instinct which had saved me from being bitten by a venomous snake a few years back. I guess he had saved my life. If Thresh hadn't reacted fast and killed it; I would have died a slow and excruciatingly painful death from the venom. Thresh was like a guardian angel. He watched out for me and didn't want me to be overworked or exhausted. I wasn't sure why he did this for someone who was just a nameless little girl to him.

I saw a head push their way through the throng of people and onto the stage. Thresh obediently took his spot to the right of Harkens's. He stared straight ahead, unblinking with absolutely no emotion. Seeing Thresh, knowing all this was real, unleashed the tears I had been holding back. They leaked out of my eyes and trailed down my cheeks, leaving my face damp.

"Any volunteers?" Harkens called out and the response was silence, the one that filled every crack of every building and between the leaves of all the trees. One that no matter how hard you tried, you could not escape it because it dominated everywhere, following you. It was one that said your death is forthcoming and no one will save you. Who would dare trade their life for my fate? Who dares? The asking was interchangeable with 'who wants to die?'

Everyone wants to change the world. But no one wants to die.

At least Thresh would have a chance at winning the games. He was big and strong and had just as good of chance as any career did. Personally, I didn't think I stood any probability surviving being as small and young as I was, but I wasn't planning on being defeated easily. I would go down fighting.

The mayor then read the Treaty of Treason like every year and once again I ignored him. I watched everyone in the crowd, memorizing every face since this would be my last time seeing any of them. I had already accepted my death. I wasn't going to pretend that I would survive when I knew by now that I wasn't going to. I was planning to take these memories to the grave with me. But if I'm going to the grave then I was going to be sure as Hell that I was the one who was digging it. I was positive I was going to stir up some trouble.

The mayor motioned for me to shake Thresh's hand and I did, noticing how small mine was in comparison. And he's not even a career. What would happen if I came up against one? They could crush me with one hand.

I didn't stand a chance.

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**It's so hard to keep typing when I'm watching Pysch. I love that show. It's hilarious!**

**Review if you were under the impression it tasted like maple syrup!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Comment of the Day- "He looks like a giant teddy bear! He's just so small and cute!" A girl on my basketball team talking about one of our coaches. The thing is, he really does look a like giant teddy bear.**

**_Notice_- Hey guess what? I got 60 hits and 39 visitors! That's not the greatest thing in the world but here's the catch. No reviews. Nope, nada, zilch. Zero! I think you get the point...NONE! That's really discouraging and now I'm beginning to wonder if I should just drop this story all together. When you don't get reviews, that tends to mean people hate what you're writing. So, if I'm right, you guys hate this. So here's the deal: if I don't get any reviews over the next one or two chapters, then I'm done with this story. Which is disappointing to me because I have been working very hard and using up my only free time to write. **

**Summary of that- review or I'm done. I don't want to waste my life on nothing.**

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Goodbyes hurt. They are exceptionally painful if it's the last time.

When I was younger, I had a very good friend named Lissany. We were extremely close and spent all out free time together, running around and being little and carefree.

Lissany had always been much more daring than me. This was mostly due to the fact that I understood and heeded the district's creed. Lissany didn't know the rules and the ones she did know; she purposely chose to ignore them. She was young and naïve; she hadn't the briefest idea of what the penalties for neglecting the rules were.

We had been running throughout District 11 that day. It was a holiday so the children were given a little freedom. Even then, we still stuck to the outer edges of the district, away from the busy center where peacekeepers lurked, discreetly looking for people to punish for every little aspect that didn't suit their ideals. It was a day where the peacekeepers wanted nothing more than violence and bloodshed. They got what they wanted.

Lissany and I thought we would be safer away from the center. Well, she thought we would be safer; I only thought it would be a tiny bit better. I wasn't preparing to let my guard down anytime soon. I was slightly paranoid even at that age and I had reason to be.

"Come on," Lissany had giggled at me, "Let's play." She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the fields full with ripe wheat. Harvest began next week and work would be thrust upon us once again.

The fields were forbidden to anyone except to the workers. We could have gotten in serious trouble if someone had found out. I hadn't been sure of the consequences, but I knew they would be harsh and painful.

"We're not supposed to be here," I had told her for the fourth time. I glanced nervously over my shoulder to make sure no one was near. We were alone or so I had thought. I stopped on the edge of the fields, not daring to enter.

"Oh hush," she smiled, showing her teeth. "You really do fret too much. No one will know." She had given me a reassuring look that did nothing to calm my fears. We had been only six but I was much more mature than she was. I had to grow up faster with a whole family to help support.

"Lissany, I really think we should leave," I said nervously. There was something wrong with the whole situation. A soft breeze ruffled the wheat and the sun beat down on us. It was silent with the exception of the wind. No one was around. A bad feeling crept into my stomach.

"I'm leaving," I told Lissany. "Goodbye." Now you will understand why goodbyes are so excruciating.

"Fine," she had responded tartly and spun on her heels to face the wheat. She had just taken her first step into the field when there was a loud…

BANG!

A shot rang out and it took me a minute to register everything around me. I'll try to explain the scenario to the best of my ability but it was such a commotion and I was only six. I can visualize it clearly but there was so much happening at the time that it's hard for me to keep it all straight.

I remember two peacekeepers suddenly standing there with guns and I whirled to face them, which put my back to Lissany. They grabbed both of my arms. I still did not have any view of my friend. I had struggled as hard as I could but I was only an undernourished, scrawny six-year-old. The men were the exact opposite.

The peacekeepers turned and marched me away. This is when I caught my last glimpse of Lissany. It still gave me nightmares.

She was sprawled on the dry, brown grass. Her brown eyes locked on mine and she attempted to reach towards me, but her arm fell limply to her side. Her white linen dress had a large red hole through the area below the sternum and blood crept through the fabric looking like a dark spider web. She tried to tell me something, but no sound could escape her lips. Lissany's eyes rolled back into her head and that was the end.

I screamed. I screamed at the peacekeepers; I screamed at my dead friend. I screamed at the Capitol.

Even though she didn't speak I understood what she had mouthed at me before her life was taken. The words chilled me to the bone. They were words that I had always knew she thought and I had secretly agreed with, especially now.

"I hate them all."

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I had been taken home since I had committed no real crime. I was on house arrest for several weeks though. There was no connection to the outside world so my only source of knowledge was what my father told me after days working in the fields. Actually, he didn't tell me anything directly. I had eavesdropped on my parents. My father would tell my mother how everyone was angry over poor Lissany's death and that they whispered hateful things at the Capitol. But no one dared speak up against the treachery of the Capitol.

Everyone wants to change the world. But no one wants to die.

No one ever again mentioned her unjustifiable death. Her parents had mourned and moved on with their lives. Lissany wasn't ever forgotten, but wasn't ever brought up again. Any thought of her would be defying the Capitol.

And we couldn't possibly have that.

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You may be wondering why I brought this up. I'm not exactly sure. I think it's important though. It explains my hatred towards the Capitol and why the next few goodbyes would be so hard for me as an individual. Knowing how terrible it was to have my last words to Lissany be "I'm leaving. Goodbye", realizing that I was positive that this would be the last time I would talk to anyone from my district made me feel dreadfully alone inside.

I won't bore you with the details of the goodbyes with family and friends. Mostly because I don't want you to hear how emotional I was during them with tears pooling in my eyes and in those of my family. I want you to remember me as strong after my death.

Thresh and I didn't have to wait for the train to arrive. It had been waiting for a good half of an hour already. It was eager to ship us to our deaths. I most certainly was not.

Butterflies consumed every square inch of my stomach and I felt like I was going to throw up. I thought about telling Harkens I was sick and could not participate in the games but I doubt they would have released me. For some reason, the Hunger Games didn't revolve around you.

The train wasn't nearly as extravagant as the ones from fancier districts that were loaded with careers were. Ours was plain and simple which I was more than happy with. Well, as happy as you can be, knowing you were about to die. I really was pessimistic.

Thresh and I were directed to sit at a table. Soon after, several Avox came in carrying large platters with about every food you could imagine and more. Harkens and our mentors for the games, Chaff and Seeder took open chairs around the table. It was just the five of us and it was very uncomfortable and awkward, considering Thresh and I had no intent of striking up a conversation any time soon.

Chaff was a burly man, over six feet tall with dark skin. From previous games, he had always struck me as aggressive which might be just what Thresh and I need. He was loud and honestly, scared me.

I liked Seeder a lot more. With olive skin and black hair streaked with grey, she was nowhere near as frightening. She was fierce but had a motherly tone that I would find comfort in during the coming time.

Right away, Chaff had already downed an entire bottle of whiskey. He kept going on about how he couldn't wait to see District 12's mentor, Haymitch Abernathy. Apparently, they were "old drinking buddies". He started to rant and fell over in a drunken stupor. Two Avox half-carried, half-dragged him out of the room. The remainders of the group continued to stare at the empty doorway where he had left. Seeder mentioned he was nowhere near as bad of drinker as Haymitch. I felt deep sympathy for District 12's tributes.

Seeder gave a small cough and Thresh, Harkens and I focused out attention on her. "Well," she said, forcing a small smile. "That probably wasn't the best way to start off."

_Please, _I thought sarcastically, _do tell me the best way._ Seeder gave me a look, her golden-brown eyes were penetrating and I could have sworn she had read my mind. I glanced down at my food. Slowly we all began to eat. I dug in and ate as fast as I could. Never had I had this much food at one time. And at this instance there was no sharing with the little ones.

The little ones. My family.

I swallowed my piece of bread hard. Sometimes you could forget something tragic, just for a moment and then it would hit you like a ton of bricks. It hurt inside and I immediately stood, knocking the wooden chair backwards. It clattered noisily behind me.

Everyone stopped eating and looked at me, confused. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I blinked repeatedly to rid myself of them. I couldn't take it anymore. I spun on my heel and ran out the door and into the first box I could find. It looked like a bedroom, considering there was a decent sized bed in there. Slamming the door behind me, I flung myself upon the bed, burying my face into the fluffy pillows, attempting to cry out my misery.

I missed my family. I missed Lissany. I wished everything was different and I wasn't going to the Hunger Games. I wished I wasn't going to die.

Wishing didn't change anything.

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**Depressing chapter from a depressed girl. Sorry if I sounded angry before. I'm just disappointed. **


	4. Chapter 4

**I tried to make this a long chapter, but let's face it. I'm not a long chapter writer. So here it is. I would update faster if possible but I have basketball with two teams so it's pretty much a 24/7 deal. **

**Okay, I have to say this. You guys are so amazing! I got five reivews! I don't care how many as long as there is some and I was so happy to check my email and see five reviews and a bunch of favorites and stuff. It means so much, so I have decided to finish this story. I felt kind of bad giving up so quickly anyways. So onwards!**

**Comment of the Day: Jacob and Chris having an argument in Language Arts.**

**Jacob- "I have more talent than he does!"**

**Chris- "What? At Call of Duty"**

**I feel like adding another comment. Today was "Whatever Wednesday" We shared our feelings with each other. Jacob was told multiple times "You smell really good." He does smell kind of good. I told Tiger "You are a great friend but your happy face is extremely creepy." Tiger has this happy face thing he did when he went out with this one girl a while back and now it's an inside joke between me and him.**

**I have noticed I mention Tiger a lot. Chapters 1, 2 and now 4. That's only slightly wierd...:/**

**Reivew of the Day: I can't chose because you guys are so awesome! I loved them all but one that stuck out at me was from booksandmusic97 "lol I love how you mentioned Chaff and Haymitch's drinking!" I was looking up Chaff and stuff about him and this fact sort of popped out at me. You need to have a crazy drinker in every story or it's not a real story, is it? (P.S. There are plenty of good books without this but it's much more interesting with a drunk!)**

**I forgot disclaimers before. I own nothing. Sorry lawyers!**

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I don't know how long I had sat there before I heard a quiet knock on the door. I didn't respond to it. What was I suppose to say? 'Come in?' This wasn't even my room, I think. Luckily, the door opened by itself and I peeked from under the pillow just quick enough to see Seeder insert her head into the room. I buried my head in the pillows once more, hoping she would take this as a signal to leave. Unfortunately, she didn't and decided to come over to me.

I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want her to shout at me that weakness will get me killed in the games. Surprisingly, she did none of these things.

Seeder took a seat on the bed next to me and I felt the mattress dip down as she put her weight on it. It didn't move far though since she couldn't have weighed more than a hundred pounds. She was older, about sixty I think and was of slight build, but her golden brown eyes showed that mentally; she hadn't aged a bit.

I felt a cool hand start stroking my hair which made me sob even harder because it reminded how my mother did this when I was ill.

"Shh," I heard Seeder murmur soothingly. Eventually, my cries quieted and I was left to my embarrassment. I stared at the wall, trying to stop being self-conscious.

"I cried, too," Seeder gave a small laugh. "In fact, I bawled my eyes out. I was worse than you. So you needn't feel humiliated." She smiled at me and I thought this was the second best thing she could have said to me.

First being, of course, that I could go home.

Yet, Seeder seemed very pleasant, much like grandmotherly figure and I didn't want to leave her. Being quick to judge and very naive and innocent, I had already trusted Seeder with my life. I didn't have much of a choice, though, since she was to help keep me alive in the games.

I sat up awkwardly, somewhat off balance. I stuck a hand on the bed to help steady myself. Whenever I wept, I was always dizzy afterwards. It had something to do with water and salt loss. I wasn't exactly sure since I had never been to an actually doctor. It was my mother's knowledge from previous experiences.

"Do you want to try and eat?" asked Seeder calmly and I shook my head vigorously which I instantly regretted since it made my throbbing head pain me even more. I winced, half at the ache and half at my stupidity for shaking my head in the first place.

"I don't blame you," she said. "It's hard going into the games." She stood from the bed and placed her hands on her hips, stretching. "If you get hungry, just talk to me. I can have the cooks whip you up something in no time." Seeder smiled fondly at me and exited the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I sat there for about another ten minutes, collecting courage to face everyone after my little show earlier. After a while, this didn't work. I immediately stood and forced myself out the door and into the main car. I didn't have bravery; I just couldn't stand another minute alone.

Everyone was gathered on the sofa in front of a television. When I entered, the television blared to life with the Capitol's emblem and their anthem. It was the last thing I wanted to see at that moment. Seeder smiled at me and shifted to the middle of the sofa, allowing room for me to sit next to her and I did. She patted my hand, comfortingly.

They began to show the reapings. The television scrolled through the districts. No one exactly stood out from the rest except for the boy and girl from District 2. They were huge; they obviously had been training against the rules. Since they were from District 2, this fact was over looked.

The television switched to my district. I saw myself, small and timid, take my place on the stage. I had hoped I would have looked less weak. Oh well, now I could hopefully be overlooked as unthreatening.

But the district that stood up from the others the most was District 12. A young girl, Primrose Everdeen, was drawn from the clear bin. I understood her pain as she sadly moved onto the stage. But that wasn't the strange part. An older girl, probably sixteen, ran up and shoved Primrose behind her, desperately calling out, "I volunteer! I volunteer as a tribute!" I had to admire this girl for being so brave.

"Lovely!" said their escort with a scary pink wig. "But I believe there's a small matter of introducing the reaping winner and then asking for volunteers, and if one does come forth then we, umm…" She trailed off, unsure of what they would actually do. Volunteers are just as rare in their district as mine.

The mayor says something I can't hear since there was no microphone by him, but he looks pained.

But Primrose doesn't want to accept any of this tragedy. "No Katniss! No! You can't go!" she shrieked and wrapped her arms around the girl, Katniss it sounded like.

Katniss doesn't stand for this behavior. "Prim, let go," she said harshly. "Let go!"

A dark boy pulls Primrose off Katniss. He's much stronger than Primrose, but she keeps battering him with her skinny arms. "Up you go, Catnip," he looks devastated though he tried not to show it. Katniss looked at him and I had to wonder if she was in love with him. He was clearly with her, but her face didn't give away the slightest emotion whatsoever.

Later, it is announced that Primrose was Katniss's sister. I ignored whatever boy tribute District 12 had. I concentrated on Katniss and her alone.

_I want her as an ally,_ I decided immediately. It was apparent to me she was strong and protective. What was better than that? The trick was to have her agree. She wouldn't though. Why on Earth would she want a burden like me? I would not be able to help in any way.

What was I going to do?

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

When we reached the Captiol, I was shocked. It was an alien world compared to District 11. There were so many colours; they had to be all artificial. There was no other possible explanation for how the yellows were so bright or how the pinks were just so… pink. It was abnormal and after admiring it for the first two minutes, I grew a quick distaste for it. I preferred the natural colours of my district to the flashy lies of the Capitol.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"So here's how it will work," Chaff said to Thresh and me over breakfast the next day. He had sobered up, but had a nasty hangover that included a short temper. We found this out rather quickly. "I will be your fighting instructor; Seeder your survival. Harkens will make sure you're pretty." He said the last part with disgust. Harkens's nostrils flared and he bit back his words.

"It's up to you two to decide if you want to be trained together or separately." Seeder informed us.

"Alone," Thresh said shortly, already making up his mind. Seeder looked to me and I nodded my agreement.

Seeder gave a half smile. "Alright, let the games begin."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

I started with Chaff with training. Normally, we should be working on my presentation, but being from District 11; Thresh and I would need all the help we could get our hands on.

"We're going to start with some questions," Chaff told me. "It's just to see what you know and where you need to improve. Do you have a strategy yet?" I shook my head no. The idea hadn't even crossed my mind.

"Well then, we need one don't we?" he said, laughing. His tone took a more serious tone. "Taking your size and age into account, you can't just wander the arena looking to pick fights with other tributes. No, you are going to be strictly defense. You will run and you will run fast and hard." I bobbed my head to show my understanding. This was making me nervous. I wasn't a runner; I was a climber.

"Wait…" A sudden realization dawned on him. "You're the girl in the orchards, aren't you?"

"Yes," I answered quietly. Chaff rubbed his chin, thoughtfully.

"Then we have more to consider. I want you to run far still, but then you will get in the trees. Stay towards the top where they will have a harder time seeing you." There was an unspoken agreement that 'they' was the other tributes, the careers in particular.

"You won't need to fight until the end," he said still deep in thought. "But when it comes down to a few people, chances are they won't simultaneously kill each other. So you will need to kill if you want to live. Understand?" I nodded, feeling my stomach up heave.

"Okay, I know this isn't your forte or even your personality; it's not any normal person," Chaff said sympathetically. "But if you want to survive, then you have to follow through always or you will be killed. That's the way it is in the arena." I knew the purpose and reasoning behind of all this, but it didn't make me feel any better. Hopefully the tributes would all suffer a heart attack and I wouldn't have to endure killing.

"You can go now," Chaff smile dolefully. "I did my part until the games. Now it's time for your turn." I stood and exited the car. But you know what?

I felt, right then, like I could survive anything.

* * *

**Ta Da! The end of chapter 4!**

**I doubt anyone has noticed this but I said the line "Everyone wants to save the world. But no one wants to die" twice now. I will probably repeat this more than once. It's from one of my favorite songs, _Na Na Na _by My Chemical Romance. The part goes like this:**

**"And right here  
Right now  
All the way in Battery City  
The little children  
Raised their open filthy palms  
Like tiny daggers up to heaven  
And all the juvee halls  
And the Ritalin rats  
Ask angels made from neon and f****** garbage  
Scream out "What will save us?"  
And the sky opened up**

Everybody wants to change the world  
Everybody wants to change the world  
But no one,  
No one wants to die  
Wanna try, wanna try, wanna try  
Wanna try, wanna try, now  
I'll be your detonator"  


**Just thought I would share that.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the next chapter. I had the day off from school and I wrote for about five hours and this is what I accomplished. I have learned I am distracted very easily. Anyways, enjoy and please review!**

**Comment of the Day-I don't think I have one this time. Wait... Well in Language Arts, Hannah and I watched Monty Python on Ellen's iPod for the entire block period because the sub didn't teach and he's just awesome. Tiger, Jared and Whathisface (I don't know his name) had to practice a news program for a story while we were watching the movie. It consists of a lot of bad jokes and tons of spinning chairs and hair flipping.  
**

**Review of the Day- I got two reviews! That makes me really happy! Even if you don't want to talk about the story, just review! Random thoughts are just as awesome. Check out some of the random reviews on Diary Of A Lovesick Mutant for the Maximum Ride books. Some are hilarious. You can find the story under my favorites stories on my profile if you want a laugh. Read the story too. It's amazing even if you haven't read Maximum Ride which you should! That story is the funniest I've ever read, I promise you.**

**Here's a game: whoever finds a song line in this chapter will be rewarded with something virtual!  
**

* * *

"Please correct me if I'm misguided, but I am assuming you already have basic survival skills," Seeder said to me. We were in a room with a large polished wooden table in the Remake Center, trying to form an idea of what I knew and what required improvement in the survival field. I had a grasp on most concepts of it since I grew up in District 11; I had scrounged the district for food on more than one occasion.

"Mmhmm," I murmured distractedly, more towards the wall than Seeder. My stomach was threatening to rumble and I was anticipating dinner. I still had another hour with Seeder before I could eat, unfortunately.

"Rue," Seeder said rather severely. I jumped, startled by her loud voice, now wide awake and on alert. "You need to listen if you want to survive. This is all about you surviving." I bit back the words that would tell her I wasn't going to live through the games, but I didn't think she would appreciate my resignation of defeat.

Since I hadn't acknowledged her in any way, she continued. "Are we clear?" she prompted.

"Yes," I whispered so quietly that even I could barely hear myself.

"Rue!" Seeder had grown annoyed and her not hearing me did not help any.

"Yes, ma'am!" I shouted obediently. My voice sounded foreign since I rarely raised my voice and I was frightened of her; it had come out strangled sounding. I stared at the table top, feeling non-compliant.

"Listen, Rue," Seeder's voice had taken a gentler tone and I glanced up at her face quickly, which was understanding and worried at the same time. "You need to pay attention. I know you think the chances of survival are slim to none but it was the same way with me. Yet I won and survived the Hunger Games."

I let this sink in. True enough, Seeder was much like me: small, skinny, and having seemingly small odds of victory. Nevertheless she had won by some miracle.

"I'm getting old," she half-smiled at me and gave a small, humorless chuckle. "I won't be around forever and District 11 can't survive with only Chaff as a mentor. We need someone to take my place. We're going to make sure that's you."

I stared at her wide eyed. She thought I had a chance win. This gave me a slight flutter of hope, but I promptly diminished it like snuffing out a candle. I couldn't even win in my own district against Thresh, let alone the entire games. Optimism wasn't going to change my mind about the matter.

"I can't teach you much now, but I surely hope that you'll visit the survival stations at the training center later on," Seeder insisted. "This would help you greatly. Now that's it for survival." She concluded rather relieved. "Now go find Harkens. He should be with your stylist."

I did as I was told, roaming the halls until I located Harkens. Apparently he had been searching for me as well.

"There you are!" he exclaimed. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a room with three other people in it, waiting. "We've been looking for you. We had thought you died."

_Not yet, _I thought dryly and considered saying this. Instead I answered "I wasn't sure where I was supposed to go." Glancing around the room, I noticed how strange the three people look. A tall man was revolved around the colour red; even his skin was red. It was quite disgusting, frankly. The other abnormal one was a woman with tattoos of every colour covering any visible part of her body. The last one was blonde with streaks of green and pink throughout her hair. She was pretty and other than her strange ripped clothing and hair, seemed relatively normal.

"Hello," the blond one smiled warmly. "I'm Fantasia, your stylist." I stared at her, questioningly. What kind of name was Fantasia? Obviously a Capitol one where they had all the time in the world to contemplate baby names. In District 11, if you didn't plan ahead, then the peacemakers named your child for you. My mother had thought for certain I was to be a boy, so they hadn't planned out a girl name. She had told me, when they asked my name, she had looked out the window and saw rue growing right outside. That's why my name was Rue.

"This is Andromeda and Seeles," Fantasia gestured to the woman and man, respectively. They nodded and smiled at me. I just stared back, unresponsive. I assumed they were her prep team. I didn't mind who my stylists were as long as I didn't end up looking like them.

"We need to hurry since you wasted so much time wandering," Fantasia informed me. "Open ceremonies are in a few hours." What? Open ceremonies were tonight? I was not aware of this. Harkens must have noticed my nonplussed expression.

"We didn't tell you," he reasoned. "We didn't want you to worry and not concentrate with your mentors." Little did he know, I paid only slight attention to Seeder. I didn't mind that I wasn't conscious of this plan. I just sat in the chair indicated by Fantasia and ate the beef and potato soup that had been waiting for me.

It was long hours of hair ripping and makeup applying until I was to their satisfaction. They stuck me in a dress made entirely of dry leaves that had been coated so they would not crumble, and I wondered nervously of how flammable I was. The dress fell to about my knees so it was manageable to walk in. Thankfully, they let me keep my district token which I had decided on the spur of the moment that it would be my wooden necklace.

For my hair, they put it in a hair tie high on my head. The team changed my straight hair to wavy and finished by adding an orange flower to me hair.

Despite myself, I couldn't help but like how I looked. I appeared young and mature at the same time. I smiled shyly at the mirror.

"It's amazing," I told Fantasia earnestly.

She grinned happily. "Thank you!" she exclaimed. Fantasia pushed me towards the door. "Now you need to get to the bottom of the Remake Center!" Stumbling I run to the elevator with Harkens. Thresh joined us along with Seeder and Chaff. Thresh was dressed completely different from me. He wore a plain tuxedo with nothing special. I was curious to know why they were styling us unalike. It seemed to be tradition for the tributes to match.

Harkens informed unnecessarily me my stylist was coming to see me off in a minute. It did not matter to me when nor if she showed to the stables.

We reached the bottom floor; and Thresh and I were directed to our chariots where we were loaded into them. The chariots were pulled by four horses each. Fantasia and the man who was Thresh's stylist appeared and they began to arrange how my dress fell and straightened Thresh's suit. I considered all this gratuitous; after all no one ever pays attention to the last districts anyways. The audience only watched the first few.

Finally, the opening music began playing and District 1's chariot rolled out of the stable through colossal doors. I held the bar in front of me so hard, my knuckles turned white. I was nervous. I counted through the districts: 1, 2, 3, 4… and so on. When it reached District 11's turn, our horses picked up their feet and pulled us out onto the crowd-lined street. The parade would end in the City Circle where we would live in the Training Center until the games.

The crowd was roaring and it was hard to hear. I had never seen so many strange looking people at once. I smiled and waved with fake happiness; I was a walking travesty. Someone here had to be willing to sponsor a District with a male tribute that stood a chance and a girl who pretended to be sweet, but was ready to fight. At that moment I couldn't wait.

_Let the games begin, _I smirked inwardly.

* * *

**Ta da! I'm done writing for today. I can't make any promises when the next chapter will be ready; I'm hoping for about one chapter per week. But who knows?**

**Did you find the song line? I'd be surprised if anyone did.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Super short chapter, sorry everyone. The only reason I'm posting this is because I'm home sick. It would be longer except I'm not even supposed to be on the computer. Whoops. Bye bye to that rule. So this is all I have for you. Oh and the song line is..."A walking travesty." It's from Therapy by All Time Low. Sorry it was so hard to find. So kudos goes to Azlira and GalnKay.  
**

**Comment of the Day: "Whenever I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story." Barney on _How I Met Your Mother_  
**

**Review of the Day: "I had to reply to this. Why? because its funny. Never underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains_" -Fang_**

** From booksandmusic97: Great chapter!**

** I LOVE Monty Python! Have you seen Motny Python and the Holy Grail?**

** "Do you know where can buy a shrubbery for the Knights Who Say, 'nee?'"**

** "Tell us or we will say, 'nee!'"**

** "Do your worst!"**

** "Nee!"**

** "NO!"**

** "Nee!"**

** "Nu! Nu!"**

** "No, it's nee!"**

** "Nu!"**

** "Nee!"**

** "Nee."**

** "Good!"**

** "NEE! NEE! NEE!"**

**Me: That is the best movie ever! Me and three of my friends can quote the entire thing  
**

* * *

District 12 was dazzling.

Once Thresh and I had left the stables and began proceeding through the parade, there was an audible gasp of shock and amazement from the crowd. I turned a full circle to find the source of the excitement. My eyes locked on District 12's Katniss and male tribute. I was still unaware of his name. I thought it had to do with bread.

The audience started to screech and called out Katniss's name repeatedly; their fingers hooked like talons clawed at the air in front of them.

You must understand the reason for this. Both Katniss and the boy were ablaze in flames. Their cape and headdress were on fire. The flames casted eerie shadows on their faces, making their young features seem remarkably more mature and wiser, but yet kept them appearing childish. Their stylist must be amazing.

Thresh hadn't bothered to see what the commotion was all about. I looked at his face, which was hard to see in the evening light especially since the light from behind, coming from District 12, darkened his appearance. Thresh was as emotionless as a stone. I couldn't tell what his thoughts were.

I noticed Katniss began to wave and blow kisses to the crowd; I was sickened at how she could be so kind to these disgusting people. I had glorified her before. She was no different from any other tributes from her district. She was just desperate for attention.

It then dawned on me and I realized my stupidity. She could care less about the crowd. Katniss was trying to win them over. She must have known there were plenty of people who had money sitting in their pockets that could sponsor her in the Hunger Games.

I needed her as an ally. She would be an asset. If she, like any reasonable person, declined my offer, then she would make a dangerous enemy. She was cunning and wanted to win.

The horses pulled us through the rest of the Opening Ceremonies without hesitation. I didn't want it to end. I hated the attention, even if it wasn't directed at me. Honestly, though, I really didn't want to go to the Training Center. It was the prison that would keep us, tributes, until the games.

In the City Circle, the music ended. The cameras turned away from Katniss and on to President Snow, a small, thin man with thinning white hair. He smiled and gave the official welcome from up high on a balcony overlooking the circle.

We were then pulled into the Training Center. Every tribute besides me shot dirty looks towards District 12. It was safe enough to say they were terribly jealous. Who wouldn't be? Katniss and the boy had surpassed everyone's expectations. They had had the most spectacular costumes in the history of the games and everyone knew it. District 12 had been the center of the attention and the only thing in the Opening Ceremonies anyone would talk about. Or in the entire games, actually, but that comes later.

Katniss and the boy were pulled away from the rest of the tributes and had their flames extinguished by their stylists immediately. I couldn't believe early _I _had been worrying on how flammable I was in my leaf dress. They were a walking conflagration. The duo would destroy and create immense damage, but that, too, was to happen later.

I made a promise to myself. As soon as the training sessions began, I would confront Katniss about being my ally. I was nervous to do so, but it had to be done. Just so my mind could be at ease. If she joined me then I would be stronger as a tribute. I wasn't exactly sure what her strengths and weaknesses were but she was clever enough to help me.

And that was enough for me.

* * *

**Good bye for now. I have to go because I'm sick and it sucks. So long! Hope you enjoyed it! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! I haven't updated in a while. Everything in my life is chaos and it's all fallen apart and I'm trying to get it to make sense again. So many bad things have happened and everything has changed. No, I'm not pretending to be all woe is me**. **It's very hectic. I've been listening to American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown forever now because they seem strangely appropriate, especially _Before The Lobotomy_. It's a good song, you should check it out. Warning, though, it had some language. But it pretty much sums up my life. Except for the drugs. I am not a junkie. Or an alcoholic. I'm a good person (sort of).  
**

**Comment of the Day: Bobby, Tommy, and Jarod have a imaginary child named Carl. This is Bobby and Tommy talking in Math. **

**Bobby- "Where's Carl?"**

**Tommy- "He killed himself this morning because it was too cold. He doesn't like the cold."**

**Bobby- "What?"**

**Tommy- "Don't worry. We can get another one...Wait, never mind! They're all out!"**

**Me- "They're all out of kids?"**

**Review of the Day: None at the moment. My computer is stupid and advertisements keep popping up. (Grumble grumble)  
**

* * *

The Training Center, in all respect, was a nice and immaculate building. What it was used for ruined its entire appearance. It was a prison that held us until the games. Yet somehow, I couldn't help but enjoy the lavishness of it.

We were all gathered around the dining room table once more; Thresh, Seeder, Chaff, Harkens, and me. There was little small talk every once and a while, but the majority of the dinner was held in silence. Occasionally I would glance at everyone's faces indiscreetly, just to see if it was as uncomfortable for them as it was for me.

Seeder chewed a bite of steak slowly and gathered her thoughts before she spoke. "Well, I suppose we should discuss your strengths and weaknesses." I thought this notion was absurd since I didn't want Thresh to have even more of an advantage over me than he already had.

Seeder continued, much to my dismay. "Thresh, you obviously have strength and sheer mass on your side. Unfortunately that means running as a defensive strategy will not work in your favor. You will also need to find more food than the average tribute to keep up your power."

"I have no intention of running," Thresh asserted. His emotions were as veiled as ever, like a blank book.

Seeder smiled sadly as if this was some kind of inside joke that only she knew. "I know," she murmured. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. It was if she thought Thresh wouldn't survive the games. That didn't make any sense since he had the same chance as everyone else on account of his size.

Chaff decided to change the mood Seeder had left hang in the air.

"And Rue, you're petite, quick, resourceful," Chaff praised me. "You can hide and run, but," he frowned, "you're going to have a hard time in fight." His frankness bothered me. I knew this was all true, but I didn't need to be reminded of it. It did nothing for me, but helped destroy the little hope I had left me. All I had to rely on was running. Well, I would show them wrong in the games.

(I have gotten very dismal as of late. I'll try not to tell the story so darkly.)

I nodded to show my understanding. "No fights," I confirmed. Chaff's face showed his approval.

"Well," Chaff yawned loudly and stretched. "I think I'm going to bed. It's been a long day."

"I think sleep would do us all good," Seeder agreed. I noticed Harkens had been strangely quiet during this conversation. I wondered if it had to do with the fact Chaff hated everyone from the Capitol. That could possibly be the reason why. Personally, Chaff scared me too when he was angry, especially when he was drunk, and I couldn't blame Harkens for not wanting to be detected.

When I said good night to everyone, I made a point to say it to Harkens, too. His smile at me was grateful and miserable. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. I couldn't disagree with that feeling.

In the morning, I headed to the training rooms. The elevator ride down became uncomfortable once District 2's tributes stepped on. They glared at Thresh and me. They were so much bigger than me and older, too. Absentmindedly, I took a step closer to Thresh. Luckily, he separated me from the intimidating other district.

"Look what we got here," the girl sneered, turning to her partner. "I think the little one's scared." I watched, unblinking, my eyes wide and slightly fearful. These two could kill me without a second thought and the only one there to protect me was Thresh. I knew he wouldn't kill me, but wouldn't it be easier for him to win if I was already out of the way? He wouldn't let them get me, would he? The elevator came to a halt and the two of us tried to exit but the boy stopped us from leaving.

The boy leaned in towards me; his breath reeked of something I do not want to mention. Thresh watched him carefully, waiting to intervene if necessary.

"You're going to be fun to find," his voice purred. I knew instantly he was talking about later in the games. "And when I do, I'm going to kill you, you know that right?" Fury filled inside of me. Before Thresh could have acted, I did the only thing I could at that moment.

I had spit in his face. Okay, it wasn't the only option; I had lied about that. But it was pleasurable and was most likely to make him as mad as he had made me.

The boy wiped it off, disgusted. "You little-" His hands reached for my neck. Automatically, I closed my eyes and turned my head away but his fingers never made contact. I peeked through my eyelids. Thresh had grabbed him by the collar and thrown him against the wall. The boy rubbed the back of his head and muttered a swear word that I won't repeat.

The boy hadn't liked this one bit; he jumped up to his feet, outraged. "What are you standing around for?" he shrieked at the girl. She jumped at the loudness of his voice and heeded to what he had implied for her to do.

I screamed. The girl hooked her arms around my neck. My fingers scrabbled at her hands, trying to get her to release. I couldn't breathe.

Thresh saw this but what he didn't notice was that the boy pulled his fist back and launched it at Thresh's face. Thresh fell at the force of the impact.

"Thresh!" my voice pierced the air. The girl slapped me and I yelped at the sting of it. Providentially, Thresh leaped to his feet, seemingly all right. He kicked the boy below the belt. Then he punched the girl in the face, the same as the boy had done to him. The girl tried to use me as a block from the punch. She yanked me up at the last second in defense, but Thresh was ahead of her. His punch barely clipped my left temple. The girl received the full extent of it.

When she fell, I was still in her grasp, so I also toppled over. Thresh bent over and pulled me up. We left the elevator leaving a gasping boy and an unconscious girl behind us. We proceeded to the training room like nothing had happened at all.

Thresh spoke first and to my surprise smiled. "I think we have some enemies already."

* * *

**Sorry about the wait. Since basketball is over and it's Christmas break, I'll have more time to write. But softball starts soon. It's December. Why, I do not know.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm once again sorry for the long updating. I think it's been about 20 days. So I apologize.**

**Okay since I'm from the Midwest and a huge football fan, I was completely psyched when the amazing Packers beat the Eagles. So now when we go to Atlanta, everyone needs to watch and cheer for the Pack. Okay? Please?**

**Comment of the Week- Ellen at lunch- "What? If I don't want to eat lunch, I don't have to eat lunch! If I don't want to go to jail, I don't have to go to jail! This is a free country!"**

**Another side note- If you call stores and ask if they have 180 worms, they think you're prank calling, even if you're not.  
**

* * *

I wasn't sure what I was expecting when Thresh and I reached the training rooms. There were obstacles and every weapon imaginable including ones I hadn't known existed. It was enormously discouraging when I saw the other tributes eye the instruments with little interest like they already knew how to use them properly. Like they could already kill me ten different ways with any one of them.

The majority of the tributes had already arrived though it wasn't even ten o'clock yet. Everyone besides Districts 2 and 12 were gathered in a circle, mumbling only occasionally to one another. They all had their district numbers pinned to their shirts. Almost immediately after my arrival was my own numbered attached to my shirt.

Soon, District 2 entered the room, looking bruised. I smiled at Thresh knowingly, who, in turn, took a step closer to me for my own safety, but was oblivious to my reaction because his gaze was locked firmly upon the boy and girl. They matched his death glare with one of their own that was equally intimidating. They completely ignored the person pinning their number on the back of their shirt, only focusing on Thresh and me.

The boy and girl were clearly still upset about earlier. They took a spot on the opposite side of the gathering, but kept scowling at us the entire time.  
Occasionally they would turn and whisper something to the other, their eyes never leaving us. It was obvious that their discussion was about us. There was no doubt about it.

Truthfully, though, I didn't want to know what they were conversing about. I really didn't want the lurid images they had in their head involving me, especially since I was located in a room full of weapons.

District 12 decided to make an appearance finally. I was unsure about whether or not I was happy about this arrival. I didn't know to include Katniss as an enemy or not yet. I was fiercely hoping an ally. I desperately need one.  
You might be wondering about Thresh since after all, he did defend me from District 2. That was, in fact, very kind of him, but I didn't think of him as an ally. I appreciated what he did for me, but I didn't how reliable he would be in the games. I wasn't sure if his plan could ever revolve around one little girl.

I would like to be allies with him; it would keep me much safer. The question was for how long, though? When would his plan change to no longer including said little girl? This was why I was leaning towards Katniss for an ally, though this wasn't exactly a safe bet either.

If I was cleverer, I would have realized that being on my own would be a better idea. Of course I would not have protection then, but at least there would be no betrayal when the time came to separate the alliance.

And who would decide to break the team? Who would wake one morning realizing that the other was no longer needed, that they were a burden? It was obvious to me which category I would fall into. Eventually, that would lead to my death.

Anyone could see that an alliance would be temporary; it's not permanent. It's a game. Repetition of allies in every game had always led to disaster.

Who would leave first?

Would they even get the chance?

Or would they be dead?

I promised earlier I would stop the pessimistic attitude, but that appears to be harder than I thought. I would tell a joke about now, though it seems inappropriate for the story line. After all, this is a tale of my death.

Once again I apologize for that thought.

Atala, the training rooms' director if you will, explained what was to happen over the course over the next few days. "There will be trainers at each of the stations. They will make sure your knowledge of their station is well-defined..."

I ignored the rest of her schedule announcement. I was glancing at the other tributes; my eyes flicking between the districts. I hadn't bothered to size up the competition and this was an excellent opportunity to do just that. To my disappointment, I was the only twelve year old and therefore the youngest and the smallest. This reduced my survival chances to almost zero. But I had already decided they were none anyways.

I didn't let the lack of younger ones bring me down. After all, that would be for the best. While I believed the games to be cruel, I'd much rather have older tributes than younger. I was littler and it didn't seem like we had much of an advantage. Secondly, it felt more wrong to kill a twelve year old compared to someone who was eighteen years of age.

The games were just wrong in general though. They should be stopped no matter what the Capitol thinks.

Call me the Martyr of the Hunger Games. But that wasn't meant to be me...

Eventually, I was pulled out of my thoughts by the ending of what felt like a very long speech by Atala. She released to us to begin our training.

I noticed all the careers head directly to the frightfully sharp and pointed weapons, and handle them incredibly well for not supposing to have any training beforehand. That rule was always broken as it was clearly proven that day.

I hadn't moved from my spot. I was transfixed by the boy from District 2 throw a spear and hit his target dummy in the heart from over fifteen yards away. I gulped when he leered at me with a deadly glint in his eyes.

I automatically turned to Thresh to be reassured by his presence but he had disappeared. I searched the room for him. I located him already practicing with an axe, slashing into a dummy's shoulder blade.

'Note to self', I deadpanned to myself. 'Thresh could hack you into pieces.'

I decided it would be best for me to work on more of the survival stations instead of with weapons twice the size of me.

I followed Katniss and the boy, his name was Peeta I had discovered, watching them. Honestly, I had ignored Peeta and concentrated solely on Katniss. She stayed away from the weapons much to my relief.

Since I'm such an observant fellow, I noticed Peeta was always by her side, never leaving her for a moment. I assumed this was instructed by their mentor but the reasoning behind it escaped me. The last thing you wanted in the games is an emotional attachment to someone.

The first station I followed Katniss and Peeta to was the camouflage station. They had started practicing a bit ago while I was preoccupied with fearing for my life because of the District 2 boy. There was no one else at that station besides us so I stood off to the side so they wouldn't detect me constantly trailing after them though I doubted I could stay hidden for long, especially if they continued to visit the deserted stations.

"It's lovely," I heard Katniss say. "If only you could frost someone to death." This amused me so I kept listening, smiling ever so slightly to myself. I continued rubbing charcoal on my skin.

"Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you'll find in the arena," Peeta told her. He held his hands up, indicating the imaginary arena. "Say it's actually a gigantic cake-"

Katniss didn't let him finish the absurd thought. "Say we move on." With that, she walked off, leaving Peeta behind. After a moment of hesitation and sideways glance at me, he scurried off after her.

The next three days passed rather unnoticed. Nothing special happened; I quietly tagged along, always one step behind Katniss.

The Gamemakers were always watching from the stands around the room. They spent a lot of time staring at Katniss; after all she had made quite a splash at the Opening Ceremonies. Then they would mutter to each other and write down notes.

Lunch was unbearable. I sat by myself, feeling vulnerable without Thresh's protection. Thresh, the traitor, was sitting with the Careers, laughing with the ones from District 1. Well, actually they laughed. He remained as impassive as ever.

When I wasn't trying to catch snippets of Thresh's discussions, I listened in on Katniss and Peeta, which isn't the most exciting thing in the world. Peeta had begun talking about bread just to keep the conversation going. While I thought this was a bit intriguing, Katniss looked as if she wanted to be anywhere but there. Peeta could tell, too, but didn't say anything.

"And there you have it," Peeta concluded and returned the rolls to the basket. Katniss, trying to be polite more than anything, pretended this was the most interesting lesson in all of Panem, but between us three, we knew it wasn't. It was only for show. I could tell immediately Katniss had a dislike for Peeta. Yet there was something more that I couldn't understand. I wasn't sure what, though.

"You certainly know a lot," Katniss gave a small half smile. My mother would have approved of her manners.

"Only about bread," Peeta admitted with a shrug. Then he gave her an unexpected winning smile. "Now laugh as if I've said something funny." They both gave persuasive laughs and I couldn't help but to chuckle quietly at the absurdity of their act. I didn't who they were trying to fool or why, but it was enough to keep me listening when Katniss tells a story of a bear chasing her.

The next day Katniss chose to work on offense. When they went to the spears, I knew I did not want to participate so I watched them from afar. That's when Katniss finally took notice of me.

It happened because of Peeta. After glancing at me for who knew how many times, he turned to Katniss to say something about it to her. I was too far away to hear what he said but I could see her eyes flicker at me for a brief moment. Then she said something back to Peeta, her face harsh and closed off. It looked as if she was trying to shut out the world when she ignored Peeta. He said one last thing to her before all conversations were dropped.

When the two from District 12 began to pick my stronger suits for stations, I cheered up a bit. Plants recognition was easy as I had to be able to identify everything in the fields, gardens, and orchards back at home.

Climbing was one of my favorites. I loved being able to swing around on nets tethered to the ceiling and scaling the rock walls set up. I breezed past Katniss and Peeta, and I could tell they were impressed, if you don't mind my pride saying so.

I felt particularly conceited when they chose to work with a slingshot. I had amazing aim, pardon my pompous attitude, and could hit every target. If slingshots could kill, I wouldn't have counted myself out of the games so soon. I might have had stood a chance.

But we shall never know.

The training centers were over too quickly. They were a bit fun, I have to admit, and a lot better than the actual games.

On the third day, we were called into the training rooms one by one. It seemed to take eternity-yet no time at all-for them to reach my district. Once they called for Thresh, I was alone with Peeta and Katniss. I sat there, uncomfortably, waiting for my name. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Katniss watching me. Nervously, I sat on my hands, trying to act casual instead of timid and uncertain. This would do nothing to help the wanted alliance. I had to appear strong.

Finally, it was my turn. I had gone over ideas with Chaff and Seeder but was still unsure what I should do. I reluctantly rose from my seat and crossed the room, feeling Katniss's eyes watching me the entire time.

And so I entered the room. The first thing I noticed was the Gamemakers eating. It was rather disgusting to watch. I knew that I would have to be brilliant if I wanted any attention. I started with climbing. That must have been impressing because a few stopped shoving food into faces to pay attention to me. This made me feel pretty good inside so I continued, just getting warmed up.

Not knowing what else to do, I reached for the slingshots. After testing the size and weight of a few, I found one that fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. Smiling to myself, I whipped around and shot one of the many glass jugs lined up against the wall. Then I hit the next one, and the next one. Soon enough, there were no jugs remaining.

I turned to the Gamemakers. As soon as I faced them, all my confidence disappeared and I returned to my quiet ways.

"Thank you," said one of the Gamemakers. "You are dismissed." With that, I left the room.

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**Not much of cliffhanger but this was one of my longest chapters and I didn't know how else to end it. So that's it for now.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay number 9. Here we go. **

**I have a few comments for today. Reasons for long wait: I was reading I Am Number Four (amazing book by the way) and I never had a chance to add this chapter. Today is our first snow day and it only took like 21 inches of snow to get it. Record snowfall this year is a whopping 78 inches and winter is not even over yet. We also had to rehearse for a modern styled Shakespeare play for English. One version had Anita saying- "Stop! This is so stupid! I mean, like, why is Pyramus dead? And, like, why isn't there any music? Oh my gosh! There should be a Bruno Mars song like "Grenade" or something! He is so yummy!" So somehow Sophia managed to sing that song and Hakuna Matata and Rihanna. (P.S. Nobody say anything about pop crap to me. I hate it. End of discussion.) Okay then.  
**

**I got three reviews and around 220 hits. Hmm... It doesn't take that much time to say "I like this." or "I hate this." Simple as that.**

**In other news, the magnificent Green Bay Packers are going to the Super Bowl! And we really need to win or I will get so much grief from all the Bears fans at my school and I will be in everlasting depression. So please cheer for them!**

**Comment of the Day: At lunch, Ellen (for some strange reason) had gummy bears and a small, plastic catapult. She kept trying to launch gummy bears into her mouth and when she finally succeeded, the ENTIRE cafeteria cheered incredibly loud. Even some of the teachers congratulated her. It was one of the proudest moments in her life. And made me laugh for five minutes straight.  
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After another magnificent feast from the Capitol in the dining room, we all gathered in the other main room beside the television set. I curled up in an oversized chair by myself. The chair accented my smallness. I grabbed a blanket from the basket next to me and settled down to see the scores.

I wasn't expecting much for a score. Secretly, I was hoping to get a three or four so I would not be considered a threat but actually the opposite of that. But if by some improbable chance, I got a ten, I wouldn't particularly mind it. It would contribute to my confidence level.

The screen flickered on, lighting the dim room with an unearthly glow. Once the scores began to scroll through, I took careful note on certain tributes. The foul boy and girl from District 2, Cato and Clove, pulled off a ten and nine, in that respect.

When they got to my district, Thresh earned a ten to tie with Cato.

When my name finally appeared, I was shaking with anticipation. I didn't do terribly so I thought I deserved at least a five. I was stunned when a seven flashed on the screen. That was much better than I was imagining it would be.

District 12's Peeta received an eight so he could be some competition, but not as much as the careers. Besides, he seemed too nice to kill. It just didn't fit with what I interpreted his personality to be.

But the most jaw-dropping moment of the night went to Miss Katniss Everdeen. Somehow unbeknownst to me, she managed an eleven. An eleven! She had been a good choice for an ally, though Katniss was unaware of the alliance I had created.

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I was sitting in the same room that we watched the scores appear the next day. Seeder and Chaff sat nearby, murmuring between each other about me. You see, the interviews were tonight and they were discussing my presentation. Finally, they turned to me simultaneously.

"How do you want to be observed?" asked Seeder pointedly, pressing straight to the reason of this meeting. I glanced betwixt her and Chaff, wondering if that was some sort of trick question.

I shrugged. "I didn't know that was part of this. I thought I just answered questions." I answered.

"Well, that is indeed the purpose of an interview but you need a plan, a strategy if you will," Chaff informed me. "It's not enough just to answer. It's how you want to be kept in mind throughout the games." I shrugged once more.

"Okay, Seeder and I don't want you to have a pretense that won't relay who you truly are," Chaff said. "So we want you to be natural. You're quiet and polite and this is what you should communicate to the audience. But also try to appear brave. That will become your most memorable quality if you can convey it to the audience."

I nodded, showing both understanding and agreement.

That night, I located Fantasia and her prep team pacing aimlessly in their designated room.

"There you are!" Fantasia exclaimed the moment I walked across the threshold of the room. I looked behind me to see if I was the one to whom she was speaking. There was no one behind me.

"You're always late!" she scolded and grabbed my arm, leading my to a chair. Truth be told, I was on time, maybe even a few minutes earlier than my scheduled time. I would never understand the Capitol.

Fantasia left the room briskly while Andromeda and Seeles began to apply a touch of makeup to my face, attempting to keep me childish in appearance but presentable for the cameras.

When Fantasia returned, she was holding a gossamer gown in arms, complete with a set of wings. I felt my jaw drop a bit in awe of the lavishness of the dress. Fantasia smiled at my expression.

"I'm assuming it gains your approval," she beamed and I confirmed it with a nod. "Great! You're going to look spectacular tonight!"

I couldn't disagree with that.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

There was a million butterflies fluttering in my stomach before we took the stage for our interview with Caesar Flickerman. While I tried to keep a cool head, every little thing was causing me to jump. I nearly took off Fantasia's head by swinging my arm at her when she sneaked up on me.

"Watch it!" she hissed when my hand struck the top of her head. If she hadn't attempted to duck I would have slapped her across her cheekbone.

I mumbled an apology to the floor, embarrassed that the nerves were getting to me already.

"It's fine," Fantasia sighed and smoothed her hair with her hands though it was still perfectly done. "We have to be worrying about you." She begun fixing my dress, making sure it fell properly. She then moved on to playing with wisps of my hair, placing them so none were out of place.

"There," she said when she was finally satisfied with my appearance. I held in a breath of relief. I hated to distress over something as silly as fashion.

The other tributes began to march on stage. Fantasia pasted a panicked look on her pretty Capitol face.

"Oh no!" she exclaimed. " You have to get up there now!" She pushed me to my place in line and gave me an encouraging look for offstage. I followed the crippled male tribute from District 10.

I squinted in the bright light of the Capitol's stage. Even though it was dark out, the Capitol had the stage lit in such a way that they could see everything. Anything you were trying to hide.

I easily found my chair placed between District 10 and Thresh. Katniss was on the other side of Thresh. The the interviews begun.

Cato was portrayed as a monster. The boy next to me hardly spoke at all; he mostly just answered with a shake of his head or a nod.

Before I knew it, it was my turn. Caesar started with small talk, complimenting me on how pretty I was for such a little one. I didn't know whether or not to be appalled by this so I simply accepted it with a quiet thank you.

"Well I heard you received a seven in training," he smiled and looked at the audience for applause. They whooped and hollered at the two of us. He turned back to me. "That's mighty impressive for someone your size."

"I guess I was pretty good," I admitted, "Or incredibly lucky." I smiled feebly at this poor excuse of a joke, but the crowd ate it up. There was chuckling and clapping from everyone.

Was the Capitol really that desperate for entertainment?

Caesar followed up with a few more jokes and questions of my home. I answered them as honest I could manage without bursting into tears of the bitter sadness of the memories. Eventually he realized I didn't want to talk of District 11 so he transferred to a different topic.

"So what's your greatest strength in the arena?" he asked me towards the end of my interview. I remembered how Chaff wanted me to come across as brave. It didn't take me long before I had an acceptable response ready in my head.

"I'm very hard to catch," My voice trembled as I answered and I tried to hide it as best as I could. "And if they can't catch me, they can't kill me. So don't count me out."

"I wouldn't in a million years," Caesar promised.

Thresh remained an emotionless wall his entire time, never answering with anything more than a yes or no. When Caesar asked if was joining with Districts 1, 2, or 4 for allies, he shook his head and I felt relief flow through me.

When Katniss's turn came about, she had the Capitol, including Caesar, eating out of the palm of her hand immediately.

The interviews were boring in their entirety up to District 12's Peeta. That was when everything got exciting.

"So Peeta, is there a girlfriend back home?" The question of Caesar's was innocent enough but it took Peeta by surprise. He lied with a shake of his head that was unconvincing.

"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl," pressed Caesar. "Come on, what's her name?" Peeta looked unsure and I automatically knew who it was.

"Well there's this one girl. I've had a crush on her ever since I can remember," Peeta sighed as if he couldn't believer he was actually telling the heartless people of the Capitol this personal secret. "But I'm pretty sure she didn't know I was alive until the reaping."

_Oh no_, I thought as the Capitol showed him sympathy.

"She have another fellow?" Caesar questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know, but a lot of boys like her," Peeta answered, truthful and embarrassed.

I felt bad for him. It's not his fault he loved-

"So here's what you do," Caesar grinned. "You win, you go home. She can't turn you down then, eh?"

But...

"I don't think it's going to work out," he replied, unbelievably sad and disheartened. "Winning... won't help my case."

_Oh, poor Peeta_, I thought as he confirmed what I had feared for him.

"Why ever not?" Caesar was absolutely bewildered along with the entire Capitol and Katniss.

Oh Katniss, don't you see? I shook my head, disappointed in her.

Peeta turned red. "Because... because... she came here with me," he stammered.

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**I'm figuring this story is about half over since part one of the Hunger Games finishes here and Rue dies at about the end of part two. So yep.**

**I already started next chapter so hopefully the wait won't be terribly long.  
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	10. Chapter 10

**Short chapter only because I hated writing this part. I'm not good with the mushy stuff. I had to listen to sad songs to write this so Hallelujah just added about 15 more plays to it. **

**To oursolemnhour49: Yeah I know what you mean about that. It's mostly filler and helps me make sure I'm keeping with the storyline too. Hopefully when the games actually begin, that will stop. And the 'go Steelers' thing made me laugh. I see we are football enemies!**

**Back to back chapters! Lucky ducklings! Or tortured ducklings. Depends on how you look at it. And as always, reviews are appreciated. You don't have to talk about this story. Just tell me how your day went or something so I know you're at least reading this.  
**

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Later that evening I went to bed dreading the next day. Tomorrow the games would begin. Luckily I fell asleep with little trouble much to my surprise. I sunk into my sheets effortlessly and was out like a light. Every little worry I had had was because of tomorrow and I couldn't really have care less.

The next morning I aroused before everyone else. I walked to the dining room and ran into Harkens. I realized he had been coming to wake me and take me to the Launch Room (also known as the Stockyard) to prepare me for the games.

"Time to go," he whispered sadly, almost as if he didn't want me to go. I forced a smile for his benefit though I felt nothing but numbness on the inside. It was a cold feeling and I hated it.

I fingered my wooden necklace as Harkens led me down the halls and outside, where the hovercrafts waited for me and the other tributes. I grabbed a ladder, immediately glued to rungs. I didn't mind. I didn't care.

When I was finally lifted into the hovercraft, a lady dressed in a long flowing white coat approached me. I ignored her.

"This will only hurt for a minute," she assured me and jabbed a needle into my arm, releasing a tracker that would stay with me until I died, be that in the games or in the Victors' Village. I felt nothing as the needle inserted the chip underneath my skin. The numbness was still racing through my body.

The lack of sensation, the deadness, was terrifying me.

I was released and led to an extravagant breakfast laid out on a large table, nicer than any other meal I had been served in the Capitol thus far. Thresh and my mentors along with Harkens had already arrived. I took my seat and began to shovel food down my throat but I couldn't swallow any of it. I excused myself and found a bathroom. I threw up for ten or so minutes straight, tears streaming down my face. I vomited until I was only retching.

I lied on the cold linoleum floor in the fetal position, my body racked with convulsions, crying silently. I felt ill, from tension or an actual sickness, I wasn't sure. I assumed it was the former.

After some time, Seeder knocked on the door, informing it was time to leave. Reluctantly, I lifted myself from the floor and roughly wiped my eyes with the palm of my hand. I waited until I heard Seeder's footsteps fade down the hallway.

I unlocked the door and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy and I took in the fact that this could be the last time I would ever see myself. I didn't want to remember myself that way, so I shamefully looked away from the mirror and I headed down the hall.

I knew this room, I've walked this floor. I memorized everything in this cold and broken world, the last I would see of it outside of the arena. The truth was hard to swallow.

Seeder and Chaff were sitting, waiting for me. When Seeder saw me, she stood abruptly and ran to me, locking me in a tight a hug. I clung to her, feeling tears well up in my eyes. After a minute, she let go and kissed my forehead. Chaff embraced me and for once I wasn't intimidated by his presences, only reassured by it.

"Good luck, little girl," he whispered in my ear. "Just survive. Remember that." I nodded and left the hovercraft and entered the Stockyard.

Fantasia was silent for once as she dressed me for the games. She handed me a green blouse and a thin black jacket, tawny pants and soft leather boots. I didn't bother with a changing room. I wanted company and I knew Fantasia wouldn't mind.

Once dressed, I extended my arms from my sides. "How do I look?" I asked with a thin smile. She always liked clothing. The question was meant for her, to help ease the sorrow in the air. It did quite the opposite. She burst into to tears and it was sad to watch. She hugged me, still sobbing. My shoulder was wet now. It was odd comforting her when I was going to be dying. It was a distraction, though, and I attempted to sooth her.

She stopped bawling and was only weeping quietly to herself. She released me and led me to the metal plate on the ground. She smiled and that was the last thing I saw before shooting up the cylinder and into the dark, stuffy air. I stayed in there for about twenty seconds, give or take. I closed my eyes, waiting for the torment to be over.

When I sensed the heat of sun on my skin and the brightness I could see even from behind my eyelids, I opened my eyes. I saw a forest in front of me and a large field located down a steep hill behind me, along with a lake to my left.

Then I heard the voice that confirmed that my worst nightmare had commenced.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!"

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**The games start next chapter! Sounds like fun... to write. Not actually the dying part... I'll just shut up.**


	11. Chapter 11

**The games start this chapter. For once I have nothing to say. So on with the show.**

**Oh yeah. Packers won! That's all I say so I don't upset Steelers fans.  
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I waited for sixty seconds on the metal platform. Sixty long seconds. I took in the glorious golden Cornucopia situated some 50 yards in front of me. I wished I was bigger, faster, and more deadly so I could race into the Cornucopia, into the bloodbath and retrieve something of significance.

I eyed the surrounding ground. No items stuck out in particular. I saw a pair of socks laying two feet to my right that could be useful during cold nights.

Unexpectedly, the gong suddenly rang out and everyone leapt off their plates, either running away or fighting. I saw one lying dead already. I gulped, grabbed the socks, and ran down the hill behind me into the fields.

I clutched the socks tightly as I fled. There was a haunting, piercing scream from directly behind me. I didn't turn around; I just ran faster. I was panting by then, but I wasn't tired enough to stop running.

Eventually, when I was farther away, I risked a look over my shoulder. I didn't see anything and only accomplished in catching the toe of my boot on a tangled weed. I landed on my hands and knees, a sharp rock penetrating the soft skin of my palm. I held the pointed rock in my hand, rolling it over a couple times. I decided to pocketed it for future need.

After a couple of hours of running through the field, I realized my current surroundings probably weren't the safest place to be because anyone could see the rustling of the grass I made as I traveled through it. I looped around and started heading for the woods where I would be in my element. I worked in the orchards, not the fields.

I jogged past the lake, running along the side but far enough back in the water reeds so no one would notice me. I saw the Careers gathered around the Cornucopia on the opposite shore of the lake. There was a massive amount of blood, and bodies were beginning to be collected. I took note that I would have to some spying on the Careers later after I reached the forest. I continued on my journey.

The canons fired. I mentally counted how many times. Eleven in all. Eleven dead and Day One wasn't over yet.

I resolved in staying at my current location by the lake. Quietly, I yanked up grass from the ground and gathered fistfuls of mud. I began covering myself to blend with the ground.

I pulled the socks on my chilly hands and I felt something in the sock on my right hand. Curious, I took off the sock and fished around inside it. Much to my luck, I found a small water skin. Excited with my discovery, I rushed to the lake and filled it up. I drank deeply again and again, having to fill it up a total of four times. The lake water was dirty but I hadn't drunk all day.

That night my eyes scanned the sky. After the national anthem ended and the seal disappeared, faces showed across the starry night. I didn't see Thresh or Katniss, or even Peeta for that matter. Unfortunately, though, I saw no image of Cato or Clove, I had every reason to believe they were out there somewhere, still hunting tributes.

I settled down after that, nestling into my reeds. I had a hard time sleeping and by the time I had finally dozed off, I was jolted awake by the sound of a canon. At first I panicked, thinking it was my own before realizing the irrationality of the idea. I wondered who had died. Had it been Thresh? Or Katniss? And who was the killer?

I jumped to my feet and stared off to the other side of the lake. Only one boy remained; the Careers had all disappeared. I could only assume a career was the murderer.

How long would it be until they found me?

I shuddered at the thought and fell asleep.

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I awoke the next morning to the rustling of reeds close by me. I gasped, regretting it immediately. The noise halted; whoever it was must have heard me.

I held my breath, not daring to breathe, not daring to move. I couldn't see the tribute but I most certainly could hear him.

"Here girly girl," Cato called and I could almost hear the sneer on his face. "I know you're around somewhere." I didn't know who he thought I was but he had somehow known I was nearby. Cato lurked somewhere around here and I couldn't see him, making even more dangerous because I couldn't turn my head to search for him without giving away my position.

All I could do was stay put and wait.

The delay of knowing didn't last long, though, for Cato appeared. In the corner of my eye, I could just make out part of him. My heart quickened as he stepped within five feet of me. He takes another two steps and I could I have reached out and brushed my fingers against his pants leg.

Either I was excellent at camouflage or he was blind. Or I was just very well hidden in the indent of the soft mud I had made from lying in place for some long. I believed at the time it was the third suggestion I had made.

Whatever you think, it was possible he would have found me if a miracle hadn't occurred.

There was a roar from behind me and a large figure leapt across me and towards Cato. He jumped, startled, and lifted his sword in a defensive stance.

It was Thresh. He ran past Cato before the District 2 tribute had time to react. Cato followed, close on Thresh's trail. Thankfully, Thresh led him towards the fields.

I sat up to watch. They had reached the lea and all I could see was the movement of the wheat as they bounded through it.

After I lost sight of them, I readied myself. I drank from the water skin once more and refilled it before placing it once more into the socks. I stored it with the sharp rock in my pocket.

Quietly, I absconded through the water reeds. I was afraid of anyone prowling through the vegetation. Just like children are afraid of someone outside their windows at night. It's because you just never know.

Every step I took left a rustling noise in its place and I had to pause between every one, waiting for someone to jump at me. It dawned on me that I was defenseless and would stand no chance in any sort of fight.

As I approached the forest, I felt my face break onto a grin. I had finally made it! Now I would have more of an advantage with the trees. I sprinted across the last stretch of land separating me from the woods.

I grabbed the lowest branch of the first pine I came across and hooked my legs around it. Using my arms, I managed to pull myself up. I scrambled up to the top where I could see almost everything, including a stream that would prevent me from having to revisit the lake.

The forest seemed to spread forever until stopping at the massive boulders that enclosed us in the arena. But they were miles off. No one would travel that far. The Gamemakers would never allow the safety that would be gained if one reached that far. I figured I wouldn't go that far but I would have to venture farther into the forest.

Luckily the trees were placed just so, so I could swing between them without ever having to set a foot on the forest floor. That, in and of itself, was a blessing of enormous proportion.

After hours I knew I would get nowhere if I continued in the trees. Reluctantly, I carefully lowered myself until the tips of my toes touched the ground before dropping.

I was surprised how fast and how far I could run when need be. I traveled far in a few hours, only stopping to have a sip of water which I was painstakingly rationing. I kept an eye out for the stream I had spotted early.

I found the water rather easily as it turned out. Kneeling, I refilled my pouch. When I stood I noticed it. How I didn't before was unexplainable. It was like it had sprung up from Hell itself.

A massive wall of flames.

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**IMPORTANT!**

**I need everyone to review this chapter because I need some input on this story.**

**-Vocab. Am I repeating too many words? Or is it fine?**

**-Does this sound like Rue is talking? Or does it seem to much like I'm writing instead of her? I tend to write sarcastically and I want to know if that's sneaking into this story.  
**

**-Did I forget anything important? This part is getting hard to write because I want to have as many details as possible.**

**-What do you guys think so far of the story? Is it exciting or boring?**

**-Anything I need to improve on? **

**-Are you enjoying this or are you reading this because you're bored and/or feel like you have an obligation to finish?**

**-Do you like red converse? (Okay you don't have to answer that one...)**

**Please answer this because I would really like to know and it will help me a lot, I think. Please be honest. Thank you to whoever does! It means a lot.  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**It took me a little while to plan this chapter out and then write it but I managed and here it is.**

**Thanks goes to everyone who did the little survey on the end of last chapter. I tried really hard to make this story better and this is what I ended with.**

**I've had a hard couple of weeks with a lot of stuff I don't want to mention on this because it's family matters. But on the bright side. My uncle lost his dog and ten days later he found it! It was a miracle!**

**Another miracle was that Hannah and my mousetrap car worked thanks to Ellyn. We were both doing terrible in science but Ellyn saved our butts. So that means I'm not grounded from the computer! Woo! **

**So here we go!  
**

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At first I didn't react. I froze, petrified. I hated fire. I never mentioned this but it was the most terrifying thing in the world to me. It's just... horrible. There are no words strong enough to describe it.

Before Lissany was murdered, we had been inside the blacksmith's shop her father owned. We had been about four years of age, I think. It was our last month of freedom before we would be forced to work for the District, starting with running errands for the Peacekeepers.

It was a cold winter evening and snow was blowing hard against the small windows of the shop. Normally when it snows in District 11, it would be light flurries. Yet that night was a blizzard.

Lissany's father, Mr. Belle, was finishing a few projects before closing the shop for the night. We were sitting with our corn husk dolls as close as we could get to the fire without being in Mr. Belle's way.

It had been a simple mistake, one that could have been easily avoided. Lissany set her doll too close to the raging fire.

A spark flew out and landed on her dried doll.

It ignited far too easily.

Fire is a hungry creature and won't stop devouring everything in its path until there is nothing but charred remains and ashes left.

We learned this the hard way.

Flames began to consume the entire building and soon, they were all I could see. Mr. Belle grabbed Lissany and pushed her towards the door, screaming at her to run. She looked back at me once before fleeing out the door.

Mr. Belle then turned to me. I could barely catch a glimpse of him through the inferno that was surrounding me.

He wanted to help me, I knew he did, but I was trapped behind a wall of flames.

I could do nothing but crawl into a ball and cry as hard as I could. I clutched my doll like it was a lifeline when it really wasn't. It could do nothing but make me more vulnerable to fire.

I remember I felt so... scared. So alone. It just hurt so bad I couldn't stand it. Smoke filled my lungs and I was having trouble breathing.

"Mommy!" I had wailed. "I want my mommy!" It's one of the worst feelings in the world, especially for someone so little. You could cry for your mother to come but she would never come. She could not hear you. She could not hear me...

I wanted nothing more than to see her face. I wanted nothing more than to be safe at home in my mother's arms.

It just hurt so badly. It _hurts_ so badly.

The fire crept closer, ever so slowly, but at the same time too quickly. I was so frightened. I didn't want the fire by me! I wanted to get away! I didn't want this! I wanted this to stop!

...

...

The last thing I remembered was a tall dark figure coming at me and I wondered if it was Death.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

It wasn't Death, though. It was Mr. Belle leaping through the fire once he had found a towel to wrap me in. It was to serve as protection from the flames.

I was unconscious for this part so all my information is second-hand knowledge. Apparently, Mr. Belle lifted me and carried me back through the fire, risking his own safety.

I wasn't completely protected though. The towel had caught ablaze as he ran through. Once he managed to get us outside, he placed me on the ground and started shoveling snow on top of me to put it out.

That was when I came to. The icy particles clung to my hair and cheeks, startling me awake. I coughed and spat out ash that got into my lungs before proceeding to throw up again and again. I kept this up until all the junk was out of me, until there was nothing but bile remaining. My throat hurt incredibly so and was raw for the next week or more.

I cried so hard afterwards and when my mother was notified of what happened, she rushed to me and held me for what felt like hours.

And it felt so nice.

To this day, I have a massive scar covering my back where fire caught hold of the towel. Sometimes I swore I could still feel the pain of the incident but my father told me I was imagining it and it was only post-traumatic stress and something called dissociation.

I later found out this meant emotional numbing to deaden the pain of the experience. Though I wasn't emotionless, was I?

For years, and on occasions when I was older, I had haunted nightmares filled with images no child should see. I would watch as my entire family was burned alive and I would see the agony on their faces and I could not help them. All I was able to do was sit and watch my family being ripped away from me.

I cried when I woke up, every time. I cried at the memory of it. I still cry whenever I remember it...

It's a terrible feeling that makes you wish everything was different. But it's not. Wish all you want, it will _not_ change a damn thing. That's life; simple and easy in three words: cruel and unfair.

I hope this explains my phobia. I figured, since you've been listening to my story this long, you would care and may even have sympathy towards me.

At this point I still hadn't budged an inch. The inferno was coming, creeping closer and closer.

Finally, I responded when the fire was so close, it ignited the sleeve covering my forearm. I recoiled from the fire, dancing around, flailing my arms, trying to extinguish my jacket. It did go out.

Then I took off running through the forest, attempting to avoid catching my feet on any undergrowth or stones.

Everything in the forest seemed to be set up as though it was an obstacle course. It created the impression that it all wanted me to trip and be at the mercy of the conflagration.

When I peeked over my shoulder and could still see the bane of my existence, I ran even harder, my breathing loud and rushed sounding in my ear.

Soon, I was far enough away to have time to scamper up a tree. My boots slid on the trunk, trying to grip the bark. I tried again with the same results.

I began to panic. Why couldn't I climb? What was wrong?

I figured I was too anxious to focus. I took a deep breath. Then I could climb.

I pulled myself to the top of the tree and looked across the dense forest. I easily spotted the bright colours of the fire approaching slowly.

I was memorized by the deadly beauty of it. And up here with the cool breeze, it was relaxing. I didn't want to leave the treetop. I wanted to stay here and let the flames reach me...

What was I thinking? Was this a mind trick by the Capitol? Did they know what I feared? Or was it a sheer coincidence?

I didn't know but what I did know was that I had to keep moving. I wished I had moved because then I heard a whistling noise that sounded as if something was-

A massive fireball slammed into the tree next to me and I wasted no time. I scurried down the trunk immediately.

More of the flying fire came at me but they missed by a long shot. I heard someone retching not far away before the hissing noises recommenced. There must have been someone nearby. This only made me run harder to get away from the threats of fire and a tribute.

Before I knew it the fire stops. Just like that. I stopped running and hunched over, bracing my hands on my knees in an attempt to catch my breath. It was still hard to breathe with the thick smoke and this made seeking refuge in the trees a preposterous idea. It was absolutely out of the question.

It was around this point that I finally I registered the agony coming from where the fire had scorched my jacket. I pulled back the charred sleeve to examine the damage.

The flames had seared a large portion of my forearm. I touched it gingerly, hissing at the pain. Reluctantly, since I wanted to conserve water, I poured the liquid from my water skin onto the burned flesh. It soothed the raw skin until the water stopped trickling on it.

I sighed. There was nothing I could do. Nothing at all. It was now when the grimness of the games set in. It was like a black hole all around you. Nothing good came from it. In fact anything light and happy is sucked in to it and all that is exchanged for them is darkness.

I lied on my stomach to get away from the smoke and to rest for a bit. The grass had a familiar smell to it and it carried my mind back to my district where everything was normal and how it should be.

For a second I missed District 11. I missed it so much my chest ached but that could have been from all the ash and smoke I inhaled.

To ignore the feeling of longing, I forced myself to my feet and started walking in the direction of what I hoped to be the lake. I was planning on a little spying of the Careers.

I was going the right way and soon enough, I spotted the lake. I was far away from where the fire had been so climbing a tree was safe now. I did so but it made me nervous when I could still see the tendrils of smoke reaching towards the sky. I shuddered and focused my attention on the Careers' base camp.

They had all their food and supplies in one area in the open and it was poorly guarded. I squinted to make sure I was seeing this correctly.

I was. Their arrogance of their protecting abilities was rather shocking. I knew they thought highly of themselves but this was an outrageous risk.

A forked branch to my right suddenly distracted me. It would be perfect for a slingshot if I had all the right materials. Balancing my weight, I reached out and snapped the Y-shaped branch from the tree. I smiled for the first time in what felt like ages.

For the pouch, I could use of piece of my jacket. I would also need something to launch with. I would have to keep my eyes peeled.

I was too attentive to the Careers' base camp and my chances for a slingshot that I had forgotten to be wary of tributes.

I hardly noticed when she snuck up behind me in the tree. The silky voice made me shuddered as I slowly turned to face her.

"Hello, little girl."

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**Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated. And I bid you adieu! (I'm brushing up on my little to no French for next year.)**


	13. Chapter 13

**For anyone inspiring to get a permit, that test is freaking hard! Everyone told me it was easy peasy. Well that only applies to people who study. Whoops. But I got the permit anyways and it's about time too.**

**I don't know about anyone, but I have extreme cabin fever. I *greatly dislike with a passion* how everything is indoors. Even softball practice is! What kind of joke is that? So to chase away that restlessness and irritability, I have added a funny quote from a book I'm reading to the end of this chapter. Well at least I think it's funny.  
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Have you ever been startled so greatly that your heart felt like it was pounding out of your chest? When she frightened me, this was what it felt like.

I spun to face the speaker, terrified. I recognized her to be from District 5. She was probably fourteen or fifteen with bright orange hair and freckles across her nose. She had a sarcastic and devious look on her petite face which was more frightening then if she had looked murderous.

Trying to be secretive, I started backing down the tree slowly, keeping my eyes on her the entire time.

She was agile and swung onto a branch underneath me, creeping closer and closer. I didn't understand how she could move in the trees as well as I could; District 5 was known for factories, not forests.

"Where do you think you're going?" she smiled. Casually, she reached into her back pocket and unsheathed a knife. Its blade was at least eight inches long. I didn't know how well she could use it since I never paid attention to her in training. She was so slender and elfin; she didn't appear as a threat.

That was one of the biggest mistakes I had ever made.

I had disregarded tributes that weren't huge Careers, the ones that could easily be as deadly as Careers when ignored.

If this girl was to win the games, her methods and mannerisms reflected Seeder's. She would remain unseen and only attack if she was absolutely positive she would be victorious. The strategy was nearly flawless.

District 5 eyed me with a look that masked either incredible intelligence or madness. Maybe even both. Whatever one it was, she was one of the most alarming people I had ever seen.

"You never answered my question," she announced and ran the blade of her knife between her fingers.

"I was thinking I should leave now," I told her matter-of-factly. Gulping, I slid my foot back along the branch, feeling my way for the other tree's branch that intersected with mine.

"I think you should stay with me," said District 5 with an evil glint in her eye. She made a quick jerking movement towards me, and I jumped backwards, losing my footing. I fell from the tree but was lucky enough to be able to hook my arms and legs around the branch to stop my fall. I hung there, my heart feeling as if would pound through my chest.

District 5 laughed. "And somehow you're still alive," she quipped. "It's a bit ironic, isn't it?"

"A bit," I gasped, debating if dropping to the ground from forty feet would be the safest bet for me then. I peered nervously towards the earth when I noticed another branch five feet below me.

I looked back at District 5 as soon as I spotted the possible escape. My face must have given away something.

"What are you-" she started to ask before I dropped. I landed perfectly my feet lined along the branch with my hands gripping the bark so hard, it made little indents in my palms.

I watched District 5's reaction. At first she was shocked before her faced twisted into a snarl.

I was so afraid of what she would do. I scaled down the tree faster than I had ever before.

I took off at a sprint but the girl was agile and quick. She was on the forest floor in seconds and racing behind me. She ran as if it were facile, as if she was sure she could catch me. And she almost did if it wasn't for the loud-

"ARGHHH!" A voice roared. A figure burst from behind a tree and flew towards District 5. He slammed into her, nearly missing her. She spun, horrified and bewildered as he clipped her shoulder. When she spotted the monster of a man, she fled, cradling her arm, her orange hair flying out behind her.

It was Thresh who saved me. Breathing hard, he faced me, his face utterly emotionless like always.

I didn't trust my voice but I said it anyways.

"Thank you," my voice hushed and timid. Thresh just nodded, but didn't leave. He looked around a bit before speaking up.

"You haven't been eating," he stated simply. I inspected my stomach to see if it was noticeable. I couldn't tell. But it was true. I hadn't eaten since before the games had begun.

"There are many different foods around," he chopped at every word as if he didn't know the language very well. "I can help you find some."

I wasn't prepared to ally myself with Thresh. It wouldn't be a smart idea. First, if it came down to just the two of us, however unlikely the scenario was, one would have to kill the other creating mass hysteria in the district.

Second, he could have snapped my neck like a twig.

I didn't respond to his offer; I simply stared at him. I was capable of finding my own food. The problem was finding the opportunity to do so. The games were a little hectic.

"Here," he said. He took off his bag and handed it to me. "There is nothing in here but food." I switched my gaze from him to the sack, not trusting its contents.

I _had_ to take it. You could never understand. If that sack was filled with food, it would be a massive asset. I needed that bag.

I grabbed it and he released it easily. Thresh smiled, but it was really more of a smirk. I nodded my head thanks and took off, leaving him behind.

It could have been a trap, to get me to trust him and then kill me. Even if my reaction was impolite, it was the safest option. I had acted in a way Seeder and Chaff would have approved of and that would keep me protected from death.

When I was farther away, I took refuge in a large tree and began examining the bag's insides. I dug through it, carefully and nervously, afraid of what I might find.

It was filled with a sort of starchy roots and nuts that I recognized from District 11. We had these for meals quite often, especially when food sources were running short.

Thinking it would be best to find more food just as a provision, I slipped down the tree silently. I surveyed the area by spinning in a circle. Since the meeting with District 5, I was extremely paranoid about any tributes sneaking up on me. I was beyond nervous, I was terrified. I was finally realizing just how scary the games were. When you saw them from the safety of your homes... It was nothing compared to the actual experience of the Hunger Games.

It was anyone's Hell.

I identified a few recognizable plants. One was edible and I forced fistfuls of it into Thre- my sack. I went to a different bush that was used to draw the venom out of anything. I had noticed many tracker jackets' hives around so I put some of these into my bag as well, for a safety precaution.

I finished packing my bag and was closing the flap on it when I heard it: the sweet song of the Mockingjay. It filled the air dreamily as it flitted back and forth between branches. Then another one appeared. And then another and so on until I was surrounded by the beautiful birds. I couldn't believe that they had been here all this time and I hadn't once acknowledged them. Their nests were all over; it was a miracle I hadn't bumped one when I was in the trees.

It was dusk by now and the sky was very pretty despite the scenery surrounding it. Well, truly the arena would have been beautiful if there wasn't dying children within it.

Sorry for my frankness.

I crawled up a tree before remembering that when I spied on the base camp, there was no sign of the Careers anywhere. I determined that I would sleep better if I knew the whereabouts of them. I searched a little by clambering through the forest. Then I heard them.

The Careers.

Petrified, I didn't move an inch further. They hadn't known I was there. But she might have noticed me.

The dark figure in the tree ahead of me was none other than Katniss; I could tell by her braided hair. I was unsure of what to do. Would she see me? Would she just ignore me? _Would she kill me?_

These apprehensive thoughts flooded through my mind when I heard a quiet buzzing sound coming from somewhere above me. The sound grew louder and louder, crescendoing. I hesitated before crawling closer to see the din's source. I squinted in the dim light. It was hard to see, but I made out a shape that looked like...

A tracker jackers' nest! Katniss was ignorant that she was residing under the deadly creatures. I stared at her, thinking _Katniss, look!_ as hard as I could at her.

I watched her for about twenty or so minutes before she finally looked around, her gaze falling upon mine.

Slowly, as not to rustle the leaves and draw attention to myself, I pointed, indicating to the tracker jackers' nest. Her eyes followed my finger until she spotted the silhouette of the nest.

I didn't wait for her find me again. I disappeared into the trees and faded into the night.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

I took shelter for the night in a tree not too far from Katniss's. I wanted to be near her no matter how close the Careers were. Her presence was a comfort to me. I needed someone to make me feel secure. And Katniss offered this to me whether she was aware of it or not.

Later, I heard a strange sound coming from the direction of the Careers. I paused to listen, cocking my head to the side. It was almost as if someone was sawing something...

As fast as I could, I flew through the trees to see what Katniss was doing at that precise moment, hoping that she wasn't the one creating this commotion. But, unfortunately, she was.

I wanted to scream at her to stop, but I also wanted to remain hidden from the Careers. So instead of acting, I crouched there, sullenly, watching the events fold out before me.

Katniss succeeded in sawing the beach and the nest fell and landed with a dull thump on the dirt. The tracker jackers swarmed out of their relocated hive, buzzing angrily.

Tracker jackers were incredibly deadly. And I was purblind. I panicked for the millionth time during the games. Why was I refusing to move? Hadn't I learned my lesson? Why couldn't I process what laid before me?

It dawned on me. For some insane reason, I wanted to make sure _Katniss_ was alright. I didn't worry about myself.

A sharp pinch on my neck pulled me out of my stupor. My hand shot to that spot, covering it. Underneath my hand I felt something crawling and what I assumed to be some kind of vibrating wings. The tracker jacker was captured in my cupped hand.

Terrified, I threw the bug away with a shriek. Its venom was already seeping into my bloodstream and I was becoming woozy. The venom was fast acting. I knew that. Everyone knew that. But I had repudiated the command my brain had given to flee.

I awkwardly climbed/fell from the tree. I landed on my hands and knees, and when I attempted to stand, my knees wobbled and I had to cling to the trunk for balance.

The buzzing was louder and I felt another prick as a stinger wedged itself into the skin of my wrist. Many tracker jackers were after me. I knew I had to run, but I was just so sleepy...

I jolted as a muscle spasm ran up through my arm.

I needed to run! I needed to get away!

Without looking for Careers, I sprinted away as fast as my legs could manage. They felt like rubber when I put any weight on them and threatened to collapse under me at any given second.

Then I remembered the leaves that withdrew any venom I had added to my bag earlier. It seemed like fate that I had them with me. As I ran, I flipped open the pouch and grabbed a handful of the leaves. Not knowing what else to grind them with, I stuffed them into my mouth and chewed through the thick stems of them. It tasted repulsive but I had had worse.

I spit the mashed up vegetation into my hand. By now I had stopped running for the insects had left me. But their venom was still inside me. I placed the masticated leaves onto the different marks left by the tracker jackers. Immediately, the relief was there and greatness of it was almost tangible.

I was all right.

I was alive for now.

And I started crying.

I curled up on the ground in the fetal position and I cried.

Because of everything I had gone through.

Everything.

And yet, I was still alive.

And I just cried.

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**This story is close to the end. I think there's about... four days left until Rue's death. Which is sadder than it was in the book if that's possible. In my mind, Rue is an entire person instead of a minor character so I don't really want to kill her off.**

**Well Rue has two full days until she's meets Katniss so if anyone has any ideas they want to happen, let me know. I could add them depending if they would work. **

**Next chapter is on the way.**

**And from the City of Bones by Cassandra Clare-  
**

**Jace - "Unfortunately, Lady of Heaven, my one true love remains myself."**

**Dorothea - "At least you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland."**

**Jace - "Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting." **

**And previously in the story-**

**Jace - "In future, Clarissa, it might be wise to mention you already have a man in your bed, to avoid such tedious situations."**

**Simon - "You invited him to bed?"**

**Jace - "Ridiculous, isn't it? We would have never all fit."**

**Don't you love big misunderstandings? Especially when one of the characters thinks he's the greatest thing in the world?**

**Well I'm done rattling on. Byebye!  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Longest chapter ever! **

**If anyone has any ideas they want in the next chapter, let me know.**

**This chapter has a lot of references to songs such as: _Helena (So Long & Goodnight); Cemetery Drive; The End; Come One, Come All; Kids From Yesterday. _I think I listened to too much music when writing this, if that's possible.  
**

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My cries subsided eventually and I fell asleep right there on the forest floor, grass woven in my fingers and hair. I was so exhausted I hadn't worried about my life. Sleep had came so easily, but that was only good thing about my slumber. My dreams were haunted by past memories, ones that weren't joyous in any way.

I'll elaborate on my nightmares that were my life.

Come one; come all to this tragic affair. You're just in time to witness my first breakdown.

It was a funeral. Her name had been Helena. She was twenty three years old. She was quite beautiful. I had lied when I said my older sister had died at birth. I don't know why I did this. I was actually eleven when she passed away. I remember everything.

She lied, tranquil, her dark hair splayed around her head like a midnight halo. Unlike my tanned tone, her skin was pale, from death and natural appearances. Her normal warm chocolate eyes were closed.

Her funeral was lovely. She lied in an ornamented wooden casket filled with plush snow-white cushions. Helena was peaceful looking like she was in repose. Her lips had a slight upturn to them, as if she was dreaming something pleasant instead of being dead.

I cried when I saw her. My chest hurt so much that I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Helena hadn't just died. She was murdered. The Peacekeeper had been drunk. He went after Helena and she couldn't fight him off. She tried, though, raking her nails across his face, or so I heard. The Peacekeeper was furious since he didn't get what he wanted. From his uniform he drew his gun and fired three bullets at her, killing her instantly.

One hit her shoulder.

One hit her stomach.

The death-bringing one hit her throat.

The Peacekeeper was hung the next day at dawn. It was justice. But the pain was still there. You could kill him a hundred times but the pain would never leave.

Many had gathered for the wake, for Helena was revered by the majority of the district. Her funeral was incredibly extravagant compared to other District 11 ones. She had been intelligent, kind, and beautiful, the envy of almost every girl. Helena was also engaged to the Mayor's son, Jye. All this contributed to why it was so august.

I had knelt next to Helena's casket and took hold of her lifeless hand. It was cold to the touch and I felt a fresh wave of tears wash over me. I let them come. What was the point of stopping them? Crying never solved anything, but it didn't hurt either.

I saw her lying there next to me. Asleep or dead, she was still the most beautiful person I had ever known.

I could no longer control my tears. They flowed down my face and rolled off my jaw.

It just hurt so much! I wanted my sister back! It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair!

I tried to conjure up some happy images of her laughing or smiling but couldn't. I would only see her dead.

It's not fair!

I sobbed over my sister's body until my mother placed her hands on my shoulders and led me away from her. She took me to the restroom and instructed me to splash cold water on my face. It felt so nice and transformed my sobs into heavy breathing then nothing at all. In the mirror, my image looked foreign. My eyes were ringed red and dark crescents were evident underneath them from lack of sleep.

Eventually I found my way back to the wake. Everyone was murmuring to one another silently. I was a lonesome speaker surrounded by conversations. I wandered like a ghost through the throng and somehow ended near my sister once again.

I felt like I was going to implode; it just hurt so much. I squeezed my eyes close, hoping that if I couldn't see her, then maybe my sister wouldn't be dead.

Of course it did nothing.

Eventually we had to attend the service and I reluctantly pulled myself from Helena. I had requested to help carry her to the church and to the cemetery after.

I slipped the cool metal bar of the casket between my hands and braced myself. It was heavy but manageable. Slowly, we began the parade through the city to the church.

The service was nice and full of the heartbroken. I was one of them. Some came up to me and reassured me she would go to a beautiful place. That she was happy. I didn't believe the latter part. She was always happy here. She wouldn't want to leave here, not for anywhere.

Once more I took my place on the middle of the left side and lifted the casket to my shoulder. I was the smallest of the carriers and supported the least weight but I had insisted on helping.

For the last time, we carried Helena's catafalque. In District 11, hearses were unheard of; not even the wealthy hired them.

Five men, including Jye, and myself trudged through the mud towards the graveyard. Everyone else followed in pursuit behind us, marching silently. It had rained earlier that morning and my foot would occasionally stick in the muck.

The bright cheery yellow of the sunflowers I had placed on the coffin were a contrast to the dark grey and black colours dominating the surroundings. It didn't seem right that something associated with good feelings and warmth should be allowed to grace this planet. Yet the flowers were still there, never moving.

The cemetery was huge since it was required to hold all the deceased of District 11. We stood silently as my father and uncle began forcing their shovels into the mushy ground. Once the grave was dug Helena was slowly and carefully lowered into it.

I was in the background, hugging Marigold to me, bawling. She dug her face into me and I could feel the tremors course through her body as she quietly cried.

It felt as if someone was pressing boulders onto me from all sides. It was the worst feeling I had ever experienced. My breathing was shallow and raspy.

Oh God, it just hurts so much. I want the pain to stop. Is it ever going to stop? Please stop.

...

I had removed the flowers from her casket and proceeded to place them in front of the grave marker. I would tell you what the tombstone said, but I don't think I would be able to without having to stop between every other word to gather my composure. And that's not something I want to do.

The sunflowers were Helena's favorite but right then seemed like a lie. Their blithe disposition was wrong. The overcast skies with rumbles of thunder and threats of rain, however, fit the scene more precise.

I heard once that you only hear the music when your heart begins to break.

There was no music.

I heard nothing.

And that was the end with Helena.

But not the end of this tragedy.

Jye tolerated the loss even worse than my family did. He was her betrothed and appeared to love her more than we had thought possible. He wouldn't see anyone and locked himself in his house. Jye never came out, so eventually my father and I grew worrisome of what he was doing in there for so long. It had been about three weeks. We went to investigate whether or not he starved himself.

That wasn't the case, though.

My father rapped loudly on Jye's door but there was no answer. Not knowing what else to do, my father tried the handle but didn't prevail. Luckily we had brought along a spare key that Helena had before she... moved on. My father slid the key in and it clicked.

The house was dark and reeked of alcohol and vomit. My nose wrinkled at the stench that permeated the air.

"Jye?" my father called in the seemingly deserted home. "Will you reveal yourself?" The only response was the birds chirping merrily outside.

I thought all birds went silent before a death, but I was wrong.

My father led the way through the house with me close on his heels. I looked at the house anxiously. It was huge and dark, shadows creeping along the walls threateningly. We checked every room on the main floor, but they were unoccupied.

The second floor was similar. The bedrooms were vacant as well. We moved slowly down the hallway. At the end of it, the bathroom door was shut. My father sped up his walk to a jog then a run to reach it sooner. I hurried to keep up.

It was one of those moments you dread because you have that terrible feeling crawling inside you. One that whispers _you're too late _over and over again in your head until it has driven you insane.

"Jye?" my father called through the door, but didn't wait for the response. He jerked the handle and the door flew open. We were just in time.

Just in time to see Jye pull the trigger.

The bullet had fired underneath his chin and gone straight to his brain. He fell on the bullet's impact and hit the cold linoleum floor, stone dead. His wrists were slit and covered in blood that just kept flowing everywhere.

I screamed as I witnessed the suicide. It was terrifying. I screamed and screamed until my father had pushed my face into his jacket to keep me from seeing. Even though I had squeezed my eyes shut and was buried in my father's chest, I still could visualize Jye taking his life and laying covered in blood on the red stained ground.

Jye's funeral was held two days later. I didn't want to attend but my mother forced me to go and pay my respects and give them my sympathy. I didn't see how it was fair. Two people I loved were ripped from me and I had to tell others I felt sorry for them. The problem was that I _didn't_ feel sorry for them. I was selfish and felt sorry for only myself. I could have cared less of what others felt. All I knew was that one day that everyone I knew would be dead and I would be all alone. And it just hurt so much.

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Sometimes, when people hurt so much, they take their own lives. This is never ending, though, because when you do, you leave countless others morning you. They hurt so much then too.

It's never ending.

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When I woke, I was so furious with myself for risking my life like that. Normally, if you do something wrong in District 11, your punishment was no food for two whole days. I deliberated over using this method but found it to be irrational. I would need to keep up my strength in the arena.

Instead I just reprimanded myself for my imbecility.

I quickly scaled the nearest tree and perched there with my legs dangling below me. The effect of the venom hadn't worn off entirely and I was still exhausted. I closed my eyes and nearly dozed off before being startled into reality when I heard a rustle accompanied with a moan of anguish.

My heart quickened. I scanned the area for the source of these noises. At first I didn't see anything.

Then I watched as a figure limped through a bush, clutching their thigh. I wondered who on Earth would make such a racket before noticing he didn't have much of a choice.

Peeta's leg had a deep gash in it and he tried to stop his blood flow with his hand. I wanted to help but I couldn't. He was the enemy after all. I was unmoving in the tree. Even though I highly doubted his ability to attack me in his condition, I didn't want to take the risk just in case he was faking the severity of his wound. But the more I watched him, the more I knew he needed help and if I was honest to myself, I wouldn't mind him winning all that much if I was to die.

I was pondering about revealing myself but didn't need to.

"I know you're there," Peeta spoke to no one particular but I was sure it was directed at me even though he wasn't looking towards me.

"Just kill me already instead of sitting there," he spat, disgusted. Slowly, I lowered myself to the ground behind him. He must have heard me but gave no hints away that he did. I approached him cautiously, fearing for my life but Peeta didn't turn around. He stayed put, his feet planted firmly on the ground.

He finally turned when he felt cloth press against his injury. I had ripped a piece of fabric off my bag and knelt on the dirt by him. With nimble hands, I quickly fastened the strip around his leg in a form of a tourniquet. It was poor job, but it would do for now. When I looked up, I found him staring at me with disbelief evident on his face.

"It might help for a bit but it won't last long." My voice was trembling from fear. I could practically hear Chaff screaming curses in my head. I also imagined Seeder calming him and telling him "Just wait to see what happens." The thing was- I didn't know what was going to happen. He could have hidden some sort of bludgeon on him and strike me dead any second now.

But he didn't.

"Thanks," said Peeta after a long pause. He was regarding me with weary apprehension. I saw no reason for him to be anxious about me. What could I possibly do to him? Scratch him with my rock? Slap him with the unfinished slingshot? I was still defenseless and no matter how deep Peeta's gash was, he probably could still kill me.

The tourniquet was soaked with his blood already. I gave the knot one final tug and stood up, brushing dirt off my knees.

"Do you want any more help?" I asked. I was reverting to my natural instinct to help everyone. That was the sort of thing that got you killed in the games. I was breaking every rule.

I approached the enemy with no intent of killing. I aided the enemy. I wasn't running from the enemy. Most of all, I wasn't murdering the enemy.

"No thanks," he said. "You should probably get away from me. They might come back for me. Besides I don't have much time left anyways." I could only assume who "they" were. And I was positive I didn't want them coming back.

I nodded and took off at a sprint. By the position of the sun, I figured it was probably noon. My stomach growled since I had eaten in days. I dug through my pack, plopping different nuts and roots in my mouth. It wasn't that tasteful but it was substantial. I took a swig of water just to wash down the starchy taste of it.

I climbed a tree, not knowing what else to do. It was the first peaceful moment of the games and it was amazing. I rested on a thick limb, savoring the cool breeze that rustled the leaves. The sound reminded me of home.

When I was five, I was sent to work in the orchards. From the minute I arrived, everyone knew I was destined for the top tree branches, the position reserved for only those who were small and nimble. I loved my job.

I was the only who could see the flag that signaled the end of the day. After a week of shouting at everyone to be done, I lost my voice. But I still needed to inform everyone the day was over. So I created my song. It was a simple four note melody. I had noticed before when I sung to myself, the mockingjays would pick up the tune and weave it into an intricate song. I tried this with my melody and they caught on to it immediately. They would soar around the orchards, belting out my song. Then everyone knew to go home.

It wasn't hard to sing, but the mockingjays' execution was incredibly complicated. It was unbelievably astonishing.

I had been doing a lot of sitting in trees as of late, but I didn't mind. If I was sitting in a tree peacefully, then nothing was trying to harm me at the moment. It made for a boring story, but it was wonderful for me.

Yet nothing could remain peaceful for long.

The next thing I knew I was being tackled to the ground. I fell fifteen feet with a dull thump when I impacted with the dirt. My head slammed against the ground, hard. For a second I saw stars. I was barely conscious. My vision was blurred but I recognized the tangle of orange locks that loomed above me. Somehow, I managed to focus on her even thought I was dazed.

"Hey, girly," smiled District 5 from over of me. She pinned my wrist to the ground and crouched on my abdomen, leaving me completely helpless. I wanted to struggle, but my head was throbbing from the collision. I couldn't have fought back even if I wanted to.

I knew this was the end, but I didn't act. I lied there, stunned. My head was screaming in pain. I must have had bit my tongue because the coppery, metallic flavor of blood filled my mouth.

She produced her knife and held it to my throat. Horrified, I felt the cold blade press into my neck and it ran wet and sticky with blood, _my_ blood. I didn't have much time. I did what came natural and was my only option. And it had proved reliable.

I spit in her face.

She jerked back, clawing at her eyes, her face covered with my bloody saliva. I squirmed underneath her, trying to gather enough strength to push her off, but I was still so dizzy and my head just hurt unimaginably.

Then the most... peculiar thing happened. District 5 was lifted from me by someone. I felt her weight evaporate and it was like a heavy burden had been eased from me. She writhed in Peeta's arms, screaming all sorts of unprintable curses.

I was shocked, to be honest. I managed to clumsily prop myself up on my elbows and stare, gaping, at him and District 5.

Peeta looked better than he had before; the colour had returned to his cheeks a bit and he wasn't as weak. But anyone could tell he had maybe day or less before he would deteriorate. Peeta could never win the Hunger Games unless a miracle came along. But one did, eventually, and defied all odds, but that's later on.

"We're even," he told me, still struggling to contain the furious District 5. "Just don't tell Katniss." Before I could allow myself to process his words, I scrambled to my feet and sprinted away; knowing Peeta had little strength left and couldn't hold District 5 back for long.

Twigs slapped my face as I flew through the arena. Obviously, I hadn't run far enough from the girl before, but I wasn't going to make that same foolish mistake again. I ignored the stinging sensation from the newly formed scratched on my face and kept running.

I once heard an old poem from years ago before Panem was created. It went on about if you ran hard and fast enough, it felt like your problems could never catch you.

That may possibly apply when your problems are intangible, but not as much as when your problems are hunting you down, trying to kill you.

I don't think you can avoid that because in the end, running solves none of your problems. But it does delay them.

As I dashed through the forest I began to contemplate over what Peeta could have possibly meant when he said "don't tell Katniss." I had no intent of ever talking to her, much less striking up a conversation about my adventures in the arena.

I figured he was delusional from the gash on his leg. He must have lost a great deal of blood.

I ran for nearly two hours. In normal circumstances I would have been thrilled at my stamina, but right then I was disappointed I hadn't been able to go further. My head was throbbing unbelievably and I knew I couldn't go any further.

I nearly fell over before gathering from my dwindling amount of energy and taking shelter in a tree for the night, like always. The games were like a repetitive schedule with an occasional attack that reminds you nothing is set in stone. Any feeling of comfort or security is only temporary in the Hunger Games.

Night had fallen. The stars that covered the sky were so much more luminous in the arena than back home. Out here there were no lights to dim their brightness. And there were hundreds more lighting up the sky, too.

_The sky is so pretty,_ I thought lethargically. My eyelids felt heavy and I was forcing myself to keep them open, if only to stare at the sky. I was nervous about my head injury and wondered if falling asleep will affect anything.

_That's funny_, I thought, the drowsiness unyielding no matter how I fought it off. I caved in with one last thought.

_There's no moon.

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_**Maybe two or three chapters left? I don't know.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Okay here we are. Sorry about the wait. Track started and I'm really busy. Once again. Ugh.**

**And remember, Katniss is still unconscious for the beginning.**

**Random comment from Bob Welch, the Civil War songs singer!- "I've seem to misplaced my haversack."  
**

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I went to sleep so early that the National Anthem awoke me. I had completely forgotten about it. I watched for deaths, but the only was the girl from District 4. And I had a vague recollection of the girl from District 1 having the tracker jacker nest fall on her, so it was a safe assumption she was dead as well.

Before returning to sleep, I groggily slipped my socks over my hands to keep them warm. The night air had a chill in it and I expected it to get worse. Then I slid into unconsciousness.

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The next morning I awoke when something ever so slight brushed against my cheek. My eyes shot open and I bolted upright, nearly falling off the tree. I clung to its bark and attempted to regain my balance. My head whipped back and forth as I tried to see what it was. With a shrug, I figured it must have been a leaf.

Until I felt it again.

I jerked, startled, and looked to the sky where I suspected it had come from. To my disbelief, it was beginning to snow. Or at least I assumed it was snow. It hadn't snowed in District 11 since Mr. Belle's shop burned to the ground.

The snowflakes were pure and icy, and began caking the ground with their white blanket appearance. I couldn't help it— I giggled when I saw it. I held out my hand, smiling, as the flurries fell into it, their coolness refreshing. Carefully, I stuck my tongue out to catch the falling snow. It was hard to do since they were so few and far in between. I felt a sense of accomplishment once I managed to catch one.

I checked my surroundings, but I was almost positive I was alone. I lowered myself from the tree with a feeling of giddiness and lied down in the snow. I knew children in other districts made snow angels, but I had never tried. Some in District 11 would lay in dirt and attempt to create one. The effect was never as pleasing as I knew it should have been.

I waved my arms around my head and swung my legs. I had a feeling that my angel wouldn't turn out particularly well but didn't mind. An unusual volatility washed over me and I laughed harder. Somewhere in me wondered of the effects of the tracker jacker venom had worn off yet; the rest of me realized that the stress of the games was overbearing, and I needed to relax and have a breakdown. The last one hadn't been since Helena's death…

And then Jye's…

I just needed time to let go of everything. To lose myself and forget everyone who wanted me dead. I needed to be a kid again, even if it would be for the last time.

The night before Mr. Belle's shop had burned down, Lissany and I had been outside playing in the near nonexistent snow. She wanted to build a snowman and a fort with it. I tried to convince her there wasn't enough snow to do all the things she desired. Lissany had stomped her foot, spun on her heel and marched off. She only turned around to scream at me that it was, too, possible. I sat on the step of the Belle's home and watched her wearily.

Lissany had always been a clever girl. She was incredibly intuitive and started working right away. She gathered snow from wherever she could find it, even if that meant carrying a bucket of it from a half of a mile away. She kept this up until there was a heap of snow in the middle of her yard.

I was impressed but did not to show it. I didn't want Lissany to have the satisfaction of seeing me proved wrong.

By nightfall Lissany had created a fort big enough for three people and had begun building a snowman. I sat and watched, waiting for her to finally call it quits. When the sun went down, so did the temperature and I huddled in my coat, trying to stay warm. My breath came out in wisps of white clouds and my fingers had grown numb long ago. This was the coldest I had ever been and I absolutely loathed the feeling.

"Lissany, we should go inside now," I said, trying to keep the pleading sound from my voice. "It's getting dark out."

"Hush," she scolded and continued rolling a ball of snow. "I'm busy." I quieted, feeling as if I was a stray that had been kicked.

I knocked my feet against the stone steps, trying to get some feeling in them again. The temperature had dropped even further and the sun had set long ago. Vaguely, I wondered why no one had called us in for dinner. I was hungry and my stomach growled simultaneously with the thought. I stared down at my boots for a distraction.

"I'm done!" Lissany exclaimed and I looked up. Sure enough, she had built a fort _and_a snowman from the inch of snow we had received. I was impressed beyond a doubt.

Happy with her accomplishments, she skipped up the stairs, skillfully avoiding a collision with me. She paused outside the door and hesitated before spinning around.

"Are you coming?" she asked with no trace of the earlier anger in her voice. I stared at her in response. Sighing, Lissany grabbed my arm and pulled me to me feet.

"I want tea," she said pensively and led me inside.

Lissany and I had been two completely different people, yet we were the closest of friends. I sometimes wonder if circumstances had been different would we still be friends. I like to think that we would have though it seems unlikely. But what I do know was that we _were_friends and that would never change.

I brushed away the memory and continued with my snow angel, only pausing occasionally to check if anyone was around. When I felt I had finished, I stood up and brushed the snow from my back. My angel had boot prints from when I stood, but I was still proud of it. I grinned and scuttled over to the head of the snow angel. Kneeling, I concentrated drawing a face on it. I knew who I wanted it to look like. I imagined their curly, dark honey-colored hair and their skin, the shade of golden syrup. The finished result pleased me and I hoped wherever she was, she could see the angel I made of her.

It was Lissany.

When I was younger, especially after right her death, I liked to think Lissany had become my guardian angel, that she was always with me. I would talk to her, ask her opinion on matters. It helped me fill the hole in my heart she had left. It didn't ease the pain, but it helped me move on.

The snow angel would have had only a faint resemblance to Lissany in anyone else's eyes, but to me it was almost like having a photograph of her. I smiled contentedly while Lissany's angel beamed back at me.

When I lifted my eyes, I saw a miracle. Laying no more than twenty feet away was a dead groosling, its bones stripped of meat, yet somehow its intestines still remaining. Scrambling to my feet, I rushed over to the dead bird and picked through it, grabbing the part I wanted- the intestine.

It was dried already, making it perfect for my slingshot. I pulled my forked branch from my bag and roped the innards around it. I looked at the finished result with satisfaction. It wasn't great, but it was more than I had hoped for.

Holding the slingshot, finally knowing that this weapon that could give me a chance of survival, I was overcome with a sudden animosity towards everyone in the games, including Katniss and Peeta. It consumed me and I felt like I was going to burst. The snow had completely melted as I stood there debating, disappearing as quickly as it had come. I made the wrong decision. I acted rash and imprudently. I dashed through the forest, with a devil-may-care attitude that was entirely unlike me.

I just needed to find them.

The Careers were exactly where I had foreseen them, surrounding their base camp, discussing something vehemently. Cato was there, furious, throwing his hands in the air and cursing loud enough for me to hear.

Without tearing my eyes from them for more than a second, I scampered up a nearby tree where I would have a good view of them and a safer position. I climbed precariously to the apex, and paused, gripping the thin branches, hoping desperately I wouldn't fall.

Then I took a risk of brobdingnagian proportions: I aimed my slingshot and fired a rock at Cato. It struck him in the back of the neck and he whirled around, searching for the source, a cold fury in his eyes.

Reasonably, I immediately regretted it. Cato's eyes scoured the forest, looking for me. They came to rest upon me and I gulped. A violent, feral expression appeared on his face and he bounded over to the forest, to me.

Without thinking, I flew from tree to tree with swiftness. When I first transferred trees, my boot caught on a branch due to my carelessness and panicking, and I tripped, but managed to catch myself before falling. I hugged the branch I was hazardously balanced on. The ground was too close for my liking. I gasped. Cato materialized from around a tree with a vicious sneer on his face; his sword was clenched in his fist.

I didn't want to die. I really didn't. I wanted to go home. Even if I had believed I could never have survived, some part of me had still desperately clung to the hope that I would see my mother again.

I didn't want to die. This wasn't how any life was supposed to end, at the hands of a Capitol-bred sociopath. Someone had to stop this, this injustice. Not only did the Capitol make us participate in these games, but they also allowed the unfair advantage of training for the Careers. Everything about the games was wrong.

While looking down at what could be my death, these facts seemed even more obvious and relevant.

Everybody wants to change the world, but no one wants to die.

I scrambled to my feet as quickly as possible and continued flying through the trees. Luckily, Cato wasn't fast or full of stamina. He tired rapidly and let out a string of unrepeatable and unprintable curses. I peeked over my shoulder once only to see him hunched over, his hands braced on his knees, his breathing shallow and uneven. I left him behind, just like everything and everyone else in my life.

Once more I had miraculously avoided death. I couldn't keep this up forever, though. The games had to end soon or I had to continue being fortunate beyond belief.

Neither of these would happen.

I would die.

But not yet. I'm not done yet.

The sky had turned a fiery red when I came upon her. She was hovering over a fire with a plump bird roasting over it. It smelled delicious and my mouth began to water for the only real substantial food I had came across the entire games. I wandered closer, not fully aware I was doing so. I wasn't paying attention.

The twig snapped under my foot.

It rang out loudly.

She spun around in one fluid movement, an arrow already nocked on her bow. It was aimed with deadly accuracy towards its target: me.

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**At _least _two chapters left. Possibly three if I ramble on and on. But then again I'm a really bad chapter predictor.**

**So long and goodnight for now.  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**I have over fifty reviews. That's great! I was rereading them all for inspiration and it was like a feel good moment from the Brady Bunch. Thank you guys so much!**

**I've had the epilogue done for quite some time; now I have to finish the story. Don't worry, this isn't the last chapter. **

**This chapter has a lot of Katniss/Rue dialogue. It's a lot that you already know.**

**So onwards and upwards!  
**

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Oh no, what had I done? I felt my throat constrict in fear and I couldn't swallow no matter how hard I tried.

Supposedly, when you in life threatening situations, a fight-or-flight reaction should occur. Neither did. I panicked and froze. I would have been better off with one of the other two choices; at least both offer a chance of survival.

Surprisingly, though, it didn't matter. Katniss's tension disappeared in her shoulders and she lowered her weapon. I let out a breath of relief, yet I still squirmed closer to a tree, trying to remain hidden ,or at least out of firing range.

"You know, they're not the only ones that can form alliances." It took me a brief moment to realize that was Katniss's voice and that she was speaking to me.

Was she really suggesting this? Did Katniss truly want me as her ally? I had been hoping for this ever since I saw District 12's reaping. I hesitated. Was this really what I wanted?

_Of course it is,_ I corrected myself harshly. _She'll help you survive._But why in the world would she want me as an ally? This bothered me the most. Cautiously, I peered from around the tree. Katniss showed no signs of wanting me dead.

"You want me for an ally?" I questioned incredulously.

"Why not?" she replied, shrugging. "You saved me from those tracker jackers. You're smart enough to still be alive." She gave me a small smile. "And I can't seem to shake you anyway."

I blinked at her, hating myself for pausing. What had happened to my bulletproof plan? The one where I swore I would have Katniss as my ally no matter what? Its execution was proving to be more difficult than I had anticipated.

That was when I saw Katniss for the first time. There was a difference between looking at someone and then actually seeing them as a person. Some part of me was telling me that I could trust her; she wouldn't betray me. And I believed it to be true.

I pictured Katniss with paler skin and warm chocolate colored eyes; she would look remarkably like Helena. They were both of slender build with the same high cheekbones. They looked more like sisters then Helena and I could ever have.

"You hungry?" Katniss asked and I was pulled out of my thoughts. I swallowed as my mouth began watering at the sight of the appetizing food in front of me. "Come on then, I've had two kills today."

Tentatively, I removed myself from the tree I was practically tethered to. I slowly came closer, making it easier to spot the enormous welts on her neck and face. I was fairly certain they were stings from tracker jackers.

"I can fix your stings," I surprised myself by saying. Katniss's eyes widened hopefully and I felt like smiling.

"Can you? How?" She was practically jumping out of her skin with excitement. I doubted she knew how terrible she was at hiding her emotions.

I lifted the flap of my bag and stuck my hand in, searching for the leaves. Their smoothness was recognizable to my fingertips and I pulled some out.

"Where'd you find those?" asked Katniss and I could tell by the look in her eyes she recognized.

_Good,_ I thought. _Hopefully now she won't think I'm attempting to poison her._

"Just around," I said casually, not telling her how I got the sack from Thresh. "We all carry them when we work in the orchards. They left a lot of nests there. There are a lot here, too." I almost regretted revealing my old life to her. I didn't want her close to me; it would be harder to break our truce later on. Yet, I felt like I needed to tell Katniss everything. I couldn't explain it.

Maybe because she reminded me of Helena; it certainly was a possibility.

"That's right," said Katniss as if she was just discovering the obvious. "You're District Eleven. Agriculture. Orchards, huh? That must be how you can fly around the trees like you've got wings." I couldn't help it- I smiled. Ignoring the fact she was intruding on my personal life, one that I'd much rather forget since I wasn't ever going to see it again, she was friendly and seemed to actually care. It was a nice change. With Katniss I felt at ease; I knew she could protect me from any Career.

"Well, come on then," Katniss incited. "Fix me up." She sat down on the hard ground and rolled her pant leg up to her thigh. There was a large sting on the side of her knee and I inwardly wince, knowing it must hurt, though Katniss seemed impassive about it.

I stuffed some leaves into my mouth and began grinding them up with my molars. I wondered if Katniss would think this to be revolting, but I pushed away the thought. She wouldn't mind, she didn't have any other choice.

Katniss made a sound of sheer bliss and relief when I pressed the masticated leaves to her knee, and a giggle escaped from me. "Lucky you had the sense to pull the stingers out or you'd be a lot worse," I told her.

"Do my neck!" she begged. "Do my cheek!" I hid a grin by tossing another wad of leaves into my mouth. Katniss was like Helena in appearance, but not in personality. Whilst Helena was quiet and polite, Katniss was headstrong and straightforward. I could tell ever since I watched her replace her sister in the games.

I noticed Katniss staring at my forearm. She was probably looking at my burn. It had lost its fiery pain but it still burned. I winced by glancing at it.

Katniss surprised me by saying, "I've got something for that." She finally put down her bow and dug through her bright orange pack. She retrieved a vial of some strange cream and began applying it to my arm. It felt soothing and cool, and I sighed.

"You have good sponsors," I said. Thresh most likely had received something by now; he had made it this far and was a true contender. Most people were probably waiting for me to die off. I wasn't the only one who believed I had no chance. But Katniss... She made it sound as if I had a chance, like I wasn't necessarily going to die. For a minute I had believed her.

But she came from District 12. They were excellent liars; it was how they stayed alive in the games and at home. I had seen how they manipulated others in past games. The thing was, though, they didn't even realize it. And that was the scary thing about District 12. They could seem so genuine about anything, but then you would find out they were only tricking you into aiding them. They would be so believable since they weren't aware of lying.

"Have you gotten anything yet?" Katniss asked and I shook my head sadly. I felt abandoned in the arena, all by my lonesome. "You will, though. Watch. The closer we get to the end, the more people will realize how clever you are." Katniss rotated the meat on the spit. It hissed and crackled, letting of a delicious scent.

"You weren't joking, about wanting me for an ally?" I asked cautiously, I didn't want to get my hopes up, only to have them crushed when Katniss pulls her bow out at me.

"No, I meant it," she said, so earnest and sincere that I was inclined to trust her. And I did.

"Okay." I gave in. I stuck out a hand and Katniss took it. She shook my hand and I prayed I knew what I was getting myself into. "It's a deal."

And that was that.

I figured since we were now allies and Katniss was planning on sharing her groosling with me, I needed to contribute something. I took some of the contents of my bag out, revealing only the roots for now. I didn't want Katniss to abandon me now and take all my food with her.

Katniss grabbed some of the roots and roasted them over the fire. They tasted much better this way than when I had been eating them straight from the ground.

"Is the groosling done yet?" I asked, my stomach rumbling at the prospect of food.

"Groosling?" questioned Katniss. "Is that what it's called?"

"Yes," I said. "Sometimes a flock of them will wander through the orchard." I laughed softly. "Those were my favorite days because we would get a good lunch." Katniss smiled at me.

We ate silently, filling our stomachs. I devoured an entire leg and not once had to share with any siblings. It was a nice feeling but also a painful one. I had much rather gone hungry than die and never see any of my family again.

"Oh," I sighed. "I've never had a whole leg to myself before."

"Take the other," Katniss instructed.

"Really?" I tried to keep the hopefulness out of my voice. I didn't want Katniss to think I was desperate for food. She mustn't think I couldn't survive by myself. Then I would be nothing but a burden to her and she would soon discard me.

"Take whatever you want," Katniss said and gestured to the groosling. "Now that I've got a bow and arrows, I can get more. Plus I've got snares. I can show you how to set them," she offered.

I glanced down at the groosling's leg. Of course I wanted it, but I wasn't going to take it.

"Oh, take it," Katniss said. She snatched the drumstick and thrust it in my hands. "It will only keep a few days anyway, and we've got the whole bird plus the rabbit."

I forced my uncertainty away and took a huge bite out of the leg, feeling its grease trickle down my chin.

I swallowed hard as it reminded me of my last meal with my family and how the juice of a berry had dripped down my face. Slowly and purposefully, I wiped my face with the back of my hand. I wanted to remember. No matter how much the memory hurt, I didn't want to forget my family.

I looked up from my almost finished leg to find Katniss watching me thoughtfully.

"I'd have thought," she said, "in District Eleven, you'd have a bit more to eat than us. You know, since you grow the food."

I looked at her as if she was insane. "Oh, no, we're not allowed to eat the crops," I told her.

"They arrest you or something?"

"They whip you and make everyone else watch," I sighed. "The mayor's very strict about it." I had never been whipped personally, but I've seen people who had. They'd scream out in agony every time the whip would lash against their back, until at some point, they'd fall unconscious, bloodied and beaten. The whipping would still go on whether or not they were awake. One time the mayor had believed a tortured boy had lost consciousness only to find afterwards he had died. The boy had been fourteen, only two years older than me.

It was one of the most horrifying things I had ever watched.

"Do you get all the coal you want?" I asked Katniss.

"No," she said, looking a bit startled by the question. "Just what we buy and whatever we track in on our boots."

"They feed us a bit extra during harvest, so that people can keep going longer," I told her, thinking back to over a half of a year ago. It seemed like it had been ages since the last harvest. Normally I dreaded the harvest, but I would look forward to it eagerly if I would get to see another one. It's true what they say: perspective changes everything.

"Don't you have to be in school?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Not during harvest," I said. "Everyone works then." Shockingly, talking about home wasn't hurting as much as it normally did; I was managing fairly well.

There was a moment of silence that passed between us.

"We should probably plan out our food, split it up, you know?" I suggested and we did. Katniss didn't have much more, a few crackers and beef strips. I felt rather proud of my own contribution of food, all the berries, nuts, greens, and roots I had collected with the help of Thresh.

Katniss picked up a berry from the pile and examined it apprehensively. "You sure this is safe?" she questioned.

"Oh, yes, we have them back home," I said. "I've been eating them for days." I tossed back a few into my mouth to prove they were harmless. Katniss tried one, barely splitting its skin with her teeth. Apparently she was convinced it was fine and plopped the whole berry into her mouth.

We divided the food evenly. My bag felt a great deal lighter without all the food, but it also left me with a feeling of hollowness, like I had given up my life. It was ridiculous notion so I pushed it away.

"I also have this." I revealed my slingshot, water skin, my sharp rock that I had refused to let go, and the pair of socks. "I know it's not much," I admitted, "but I had to get away from the Cornucopia fast."

"You did just right," assured Katniss and I felt a flutter of pleasure at her satisfaction of me. "This is what I have." She laid out her things, including a pair of night vision glasses. I stared at them in amazement and astonishment.

"How did you get those?" I gasped.

"In my pack. They've been useless so far. They don't block at the sun and they make it harder to see." Katniss shrugged. I looked at her incredulous because of her ignorance.

"These aren't for sun, they're for darkness," I explained impatiently. "Sometimes, when we harvest through the night, they'll pass out a few pairs to those of us highest in the trees." I gestured upwards towards the tops of the trees. "Where the torchlight doesn't reach. One time, this boy Martin, he tried to keep his pair. Hid it in his pants. They killed him on the spot." I shuddered at the memory; it wasn't one I liked to relive. He had been two trees away when it happened. I had watched his body fall lifelessly from the tree.

"They killed a boy for taking these?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied candidly, "and everyone knew he was no danger. Martin wasn't right in the head. I mean, he still acted like a three-year-old. He just wanted the glasses to play with." I had raised my voice slightly, just to be sure that the cameras, that the Capitol could hear every word.

But I knew they weren't watching. They couldn't face the fact that they were corrupt.

"So what do these do?" asked Katniss.

"They let you see in complete darkness. Try them tonight when the sun goes down." Which should be soon, since the sky was red in color from the setting sun. _Red sky at night, sailor's delight. _I wondered if it applied to anyone who wasn't on the water. I hoped it did. Maybe it did for me. I had allied myself with Katniss, which was a delight.

Katniss handed me some matches, and in return, I gave her a bunch of the leaves that I used for the tracker jackers stings. Katniss stomped out the fire and I watched as the vibrant flames were quenched. I followed Katniss farther upstream, my footsteps seeming incredibly loud compared to her silent tread. I watched intently on how she walked, trying to copy her style.

"Where do you sleep?" she asked, breaking me out of my concentration. I looked up at her. "In the trees?" I nodded. "In just your jacket?"

I lifted my hands to show her the socks I was wearing on them. The night had already grown chilly and I was filled with trepidation about how cold it would get. "I have these for my hands."

"You can share my sleeping bag if you want," she offered. "We'll both easily fit." I looked at her hopefully. It would be so nice to be warm for once.

"Really?" I asked and Katniss confirmed it with a nod and a smile.

I found a forked tree that seemed like a good place to sleep for the night. Katniss tethered the sleeping bag so we wouldn't fall to the ground. We had just squeezed into the bag when the anthem blared loudly through the arena. Unfortunately, there were no deaths.

"Rue, I only woke up today. How many nights did I miss?" Katniss whispered, covering her mouth with her hand. I did the same when I answered.

"Two. The girls from Districts One and Four are dead. There's ten of us left." I wanted to know what had happened with Peeta and District 5 but didn't think I should hunt them down to ask. I guess it would forever remain a mystery.

"Something strange happened," Katniss said unsure and frowned. "At least, I think it did. It might have been the tracker jacker venom making me imagine things. You know the boy from my district? Peeta? I think he saved my life. But he was with the Careers."

Why was Peeta playing savior to everyone? The whole point of the games was to survive and if Peeta continued this he would die. After myself and Katniss and Thresh, I hoped Peeta would win. But I had seen his injured leg. Now I could only hope he would die painlessly.

"He's not with them now," I said, carefully choosing my words. Peeta had made me promise not to tell Katniss I had seen him and I didn't want to say anything that would give him away. "I've spied on their base camp by the lake. They made it back before they collapsed from the stingers. But he's not there. Maybe he did save you and had to run." It was only a theory but was possible.

Katniss was quiet for a minute. "If he did, it was probably just part of his act. You know, to make people think he's in love with me."

I looked at her, confused. "Oh," I said thoughtfully. "I didn't think it was an act." In fact, I was certain it wasn't. At least for Peeta it wasn't. Katniss could cover her emotions so well sometimes, who knew what was going on in her mind.

"Course it is," she said, with obvious false confidence that I doubted she was aware of. "He worked it out with our mentor." The anthem stopped. "Let's try out these glasses." I watched as she slid them on and gaped at her surroundings, now able to see. I smiled.

"I wonder who else got a pair of these," she said.

I thought back to when I spied on the Careers. "The Careers have two pairs. But they've got everything down by the lake. And they're so strong." No matter how capable Katniss was with a bow and how fantastic I was at running, eventually it would come down to a fight. Katniss had a chance. I had none; I was too small and unimposing.

"We're strong, too," Katniss surprised me by saying. "Just in a different way."

"You are. You can shoot," I said dejectedly. "What can I do?" _Nothing, that's what._

"You can feed yourself," she said encouragingly. "Can they?"

I didn't see what she was getting at. "They don't need to. They have all those supplies."

Katniss laughed once, a harsh sharp sound. "Say they didn't," she said, her excitement increasing drastically. "Say the supplies were gone. How long would they last? I mean, it's the Hunger Games, right?"

I still didn't understand. "But Katniss," I said, "they're not hungry."

"No, they're not. That's the problem," she said and I could have sworn I saw her mind conceiving the brilliant plan. "I think we're going to have to fix that, Rue."

* * *

**Okay, I'm pretty positive there's two chapters left and that's including the epilogue. But then again I'm not sure. There's no more than three, though. So two-three chapters left.**

**I've been saying that for the last few chapters.**

**So long and goodnight!  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**As always, I apologize for not updating. Two softball teams, more family problems, school finished, yada yada. Lots of pressure because of softball cuts (but it's okay, I made it.) Oh, and there was writer's block and pure laziness that kept me from adding another chapter. Also, I have two other stories going on that are my original works. I like them a lot so I was writing them instead of this.**

**And I saw who they have cast as Rue in the THG movie. Not how I pictured her. I was thinking more of Grace Jeanette from the videos for Na Na Na and Sing.**

**So I'm going to say my goodbyes now. Thanks to everyone who read this. It really helped me improve my writing skills a lot and your feedback was awesome! I hope you've enjoyed it.  
**

**Here it is— enjoy. And this NOT the last chapter.**

**Everybody in the whole place, whole place.**** Everybody in the whole place, whole place**. **Everybody in the whole place, whole place CLAP!**  


* * *

I had noticed the pin snagged on Katniss's shirt. It was a pretty thing, a thin gold circle with a mockingjay trapped inside it. I was curious to know if Katniss loved mockingjays as much as I did. Unsure as to why, her pin instilled a sense of trust in me towards her. Anyone who loved those birds couldn't possibly be a bad person, right?

I awoke before Katniss did the next morning. Quietly, I slipped out of the sleeping bag, trying to be as careful as possible so I wouldn't wake her. My satchel was tucked into the bottom of Katniss's sleeping bag so retrieval of it was impossible. With a rumble, my stomach protested its lack of food so I went off in search of something to eat. I hopped to the ground, landing with a muted thump. I wandered by the stream in a peaty area. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, so I was excited when I stumbled upon a nest of some sort. I had almost stepped on it but luckily had seen the nest before it was too late. Glancing around first to see if the nest's owner was nearby, I snatched two eggs from it: one for me and one for Katniss.

I had just returned to the tree was on the branch across from Katniss when a loud boom! rang out through the arena. I jumped, startled as possible, my mind racing with my heart going just as fast. Katniss bolted awake at the sound. It was only a cannon but it was enough to scare anyone who was unsuspecting. We paused, both of us listening for any more shots. Unfortunately the morning returned to its normal peaceful silence.

"Who do you think that was?" Katniss asked. I wondered if Peeta's injury had finally done him in. There was no possible way he could have survived this long without help from District 12's mentor. But whatever was needed to mend Peeta would be incredibly expensive by this point in the games. Personally—no matter how hard it was—I would pool all the resources together for Katniss if I was their mentor. She had a better chance of survival than Peeta.

"I don't know," I said, feeling like I was lying to her. "It could have been any of the others. I guess we'll know tonight." I wound up lamely.

"Who's left again?" Katniss was staring at the tree's trunk, trying to recall.

I took a moment to think. "The boy from District One. Both tributes from Two. The boy from Three. Thresh and me. And you and Peeta," I said, counting them off on my fingers. "That's eight. Wait, and the boy from Ten, the one with the bad leg. He makes nine."

"There should be one more," said Katniss. I bit my bottom lip, thinking hard. There was another tribute left; why couldn't I remember who it was? I squeezed my eyes shut. Why didn't I remember? I should have; I felt like it was unbelievably stupid of me to forget. But I still can't think of who it is.

"I wonder how that last one died," I said, surprising myself. I hadn't meant to say that aloud; it was only supposed to be a thought. What if Cato had killed him or her? How much had they suffered then? He seemed inclined towards painful deaths. I highly doubted that the tribute had died quickly and painlessly.

"No telling," answered Katniss. "But it's good for us. A death should hold the crowd a bit. Maybe we'll have time to do something before the Gamemakers decide things have been moving too slowly." Katniss finally looked at me and her eyes came to rest on my cupped hands holding the two eggs.

"What's in your hands?" she asked.

"Breakfast," I said happily and held out the eggs for Katniss to see. They were almost perfectly round, about the size of my closed fist.

"What kind are those?"

I gazed down at them intently. "Not sure," I told her. "There's a marshy area over that way. Some kind of water bird." I was fairly sure they were edible. I held them up to my nose. They smelled fine, but then again they were inside a shell.

"We can't cook them," Katniss said. "A fire will give us away to the Careers. I think they killed the last tribute so that means they have recovered and will be on the hunt." I nodded in agreement.

I passed Katniss an egg and in return she handed me a rabbit's leg and a handful of berries from my sack. I ate mine way too fast and was still hungry afterwards, but I didn't say anything to Katniss. I only took my sack and we climbed to the ground.

"Ready to do it?" Katniss asked. She pulled her bag on her shoulders and I slipped mine over my head, feeling its comforting presence against my thigh.

"Do what?" I asked. I bounced up and down eagerly. Katniss never told me her plan she hatched yesterday and I had been waiting in suspense for what felt like days.

"Today we take out the Careers' food," Katniss announced. I gasped excitedly. Could we really do that? It would give us a huge advantage over the Careers if they didn't have food.

"Really? How?" I grinned. This was great! Now maybe I could go home and see my family again. The thought filled me with anticipation and my fingers automatically reached for my necklace. The thrill of taking out the Careers and returning home was almost more than I could bear.

"No idea," said Katniss and my heart dropped a little. "Come on, we'll figure out a plan while we hunt." Since I had so much trust in Katniss, I knew she if said we would then we would.

Katniss immediately picked at my mind for every single thing I knew about the Careers' camp.

"I was only by them temporarily," I told her.

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just tell me what you know." I gave a small cough before starting.

"Well, they're set up by the lake," I said, visualizing the base camp. "Their supplies are about thirty yards away." I thought back to the very beginning of the games when I had took shelter in the reeds. "In the day they left the camp only guarded by one boy. I think he's from District Three." I couldn't think of any other details that were relevant.

"The boy from District Three? He's working with them?" she asked, skeptical.

"Yes, he stays at the camp full-time," I said. "He got stung, too, when they drew the tracker jackers in by the lake." I least, I thought he did. I wasn't sure on anything anymore. My head was throbbing from the heat and racking my brain hurt. "I guess they agreed to let him liveif he acted as their guard. But he's not very big."

Katniss brushed the last part away. "What weapons does he have?"

"Not much that I could see. A spear. He might be able to hold a few of us off with that, but Thresh could kill him easily," I said, envisioning the scene. I shuddered; it was the most pleasant thing in the world.

"And the food's just out in the open?" asked Katniss. I nodded. "Something's not quite right with the whole setup."

"I know. But I couldn't tell what exactly," I said. Then a thought occurred to me. "Katniss, even if you could get to the food, how would you get rid of it?" It was a detail so obvious that I had entirely forgotten about.

"Burn it," she said simply. "Dump it in the lake. Soak it in fuel." She poked me in the belly. It caught me off guard and I giggled. "Eat it!" she grinned and I grinned back, feeling happier than I had been in a long time.

"Don't worry," she assured me, "I'll think of something. Destroying things is much easier than making them." Despite having no plan so far, I felt confident that we were going to succeed. It was one of those things that you could just feel inside you. I was positive that this was going to work out great in the end.

How wrong I was.

As we foraged for roots, berries, and greens, we formed a plan. It was a surefire one, I could tell. But Katniss soon was off topic, asking questions about me.

"What's your family like?" she inquired.

"My family?" I said and she nodded. I took a deep breath. It would hurt to talk about them, but if she wanted to know then I saw no logical reason to deny her. And what if it was her last wish? What if she died when our plan was in action? So I had to tell her.

"Um, I'm the oldest of six," I began, omitting Helena because there was no possible way I could talk of her. "We don't have a lot money so I give my rations to them. I sometimes risk going to the meadows for extra food. I don't like it though, since the punishment is death, but it has to be done." That was all I was planning on saying. Instead of hurting I was filled with a hollow feeling.

**You're okay,** I reassured myself. **You're okay.**

"What do love most in the world?" asked Katniss. I thought about answering mockingjays, or my family, or possibly Lissany or Jye. But I decided against all of them.

"Music," I answered as open and honest as I had ever been.

"Music?" said Katniss, sounding a bit indignant, which annoyed me. "You have a lot of time for that?"

"We sing at home. At work, too," I told her. I pointed at her pin admiringly. "That's why I love your pin." It still glistened as if it was brand new and hadn't suffered the dirtiness the arena.

"You have mockingjays?" Katniss asked surprised. Sometimes Katniss was so ignorant that I wondered how was she still alive. But her cleverness and deadly accuracy with a bow made up for her little knowledge about the world outside District 12. I know we weren't taught much about other districts, but even I knew more about them than she did.

"Oh, yes. I have a few that are my special friends," I said. "We can sing back and forth for hours. They carry messages for me."

"What do you mean?"

I figured telling Katniss wouldn't hurt anyone and maybe I could imagine I was in orchards again, if only for a second.

"I'm usually up the highest, so I'm the first to see the flag that signals quitting time. There's a special little song I do." Giving a nervous cough, I sang my four-note song: it wasn't much and not very impressive, but it was easily recognizable to others in my district and the mockingjays seemed to love it.

"And the mockingjays spread it around the orchards. That's how everyone knows to knock off," I explained, stripping a bush of its berries and pouring them into my sack. "They can be dangerous though, if you get too near their nests. But you can't blame them for that."

I had found out rather quickly how territorial mockingjays could be. It had been my second day in the orchards and I was about five-years-old. I had climbed to close and one of the birds had dive-bombed me. I had never once gotten close to their nests after that.

Katniss then did something completely shocking: She unhooked her pin and offered it to me. "Here," she said, "you take it. It has more meaning for you than me."

My eyes widened as I stared at the pin. How could she give up her district token, and to the enemy at that?

"Oh, no," I said. I reached out and closed her hand over the pin. There was no way I was going to take Katniss's only reminder of home. It would be wrong. It would be more than wrong; it would be immoral and treacherous. "I like to see it on you. That's how I decided I could trust you. Besides, I have this." I showed Katniss my necklace. Helena and I had made it together when I was three. Well, mostly she had made it, but I had helped pick the grass. I remember sitting on a still, watching Helena carefully braid the grass that was the necklace's chain. The pendant was made of wood; Helena had carved it to look like a nightflower, a yellow flowering plant— whose leaves resembled stars— that was indigenous to District 11. People had tried to grow the plant back in the Capitol, but it had refused to bloom. Not even their best scientists could figure out why. They had even "recreated District 11" but the flower would still not grow.

Helena had always smiled and said it was because the flowers required fresh air and human decency to thrive. My mother reprimanded Helena when I told her what she had said to me.

"It's a good luck charm," I told Katniss as she reattached her pin.

"Well, it's worked so far, she said. "Maybe you should just stick with that."

Our plan was simple. I was to lead the Careers away from the base camp while Katniss finds a way to get rid of the Careers' supplies.

Katniss helped me gather wood for two of the three fires.

"How about we rendezvous where you showed up?" Katniss suggested and I nodded. It was a pretty good plan. It would be easy to find because of the stream as well.

"Ready to go?" Katniss asked.

"Get me out of here," I replied.

"Here, take these," she said and handed me food, matches and her precious sleeping bag. I stared at it with amazement.

"What about you?" I asked. "Won't you be cold?" With every night that passed in the arena the temperature noticeably dropped. It wouldn't be long before tributes would freeze to death. The idea of it made me shudder.

But Katniss didn't worry about this. "Not if I pick up another bag down by the lake," she said and unexpectedly grinned. "You know, stealing isn't illegal here." Even if it was, I doubted that would have stopped Katniss.

Thinking it through first, I sang my mockingjay signal in a high, clear voice. Katniss looked at me bemused and cocked her head to the side.

"It might not work," I said uncertainly. "But if you hear the mockingjays singing it, you'll know I'm okay, only I can't get back right away."

"Are there many mockingjays here?" she asked.

I blinked. Was this an honest question? Was she blind to everything? It was a wonder how she was still alive. "Haven't you seen them? They've got nests everywhere."

"Okay, then," she said looking for a way to get off the topic. "If all goes according to plan, I'll see you for dinner."

If.

There was a chance— no, probability— that one of us wouldn't make it back alive. The plan was a massive risk. But if we did nothing it was a guarantee we wouldn't survive. It was a horrifying thought that my life could be over in a couple of hours. Yet if everything went right and I was lucky, I could live for many years more. It made for a bittersweet reaction in me. It made me sad and joyous and a variety of other emotions. So I hugged Katniss and she hesitantly hugged me back. It was a goodbye in a way but also a thank you.

"You be careful," I told her. The idea of Katniss dying was unbearable. She'd survive. She was tough and strong.

"You, too," she said. Then we parted. This wasn't the last time I'd see her though.

I took off, racing through to where Katniss and I set up the first fire I was to light. Finding the first bundle of twigs and kindling was simple. I knelt by it and fished the box of matches out of my pocket. They were Katniss's, but she gave them to me to use. I struck the match against the side of the box and it immediately flared to life, burning bright. I positioned it near the kindling. It caught and I coaxed a bigger flame from it, cupping my hands around it and blowing gently. The fire grew, consuming more and more kindling until the wood finally caught as well. I smiled once the fire overwhelmed more wood and the smoke wafted above the trees. Then I ran. The Careers, or anyone else, would be coming now to kill the fire starter and I really didn't want to be here when they located the fire.

Once I was a couple hundred feet away, I jumped into a tree and carried on from there to the next pile of firewood. This one was farther away since it was meant to lure the Careers even farther from Katniss. She needed time. I needed to set the bait.

When I reached the second soon-to-be fire, my breathing was shallow and difficult. I didn't know why I was so tired all of the sudden. I started to panic and went straight to the fire. With trembling hands I struck the match against the side. It didn't light at first and I had to repeat the process three more times.

There was the sound of voices coming from my life. Fear crept into my stomach. Oh no, oh no, oh no, please don't let them get me! I thrust the match toward the firewood, begging for it to light, just to light.

Thankfully it did. I wasted no time and ran as far away as I could, not even bothering to head toward the next fire. I just wanted to get away from the Careers. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die. I kept going for a little while before I doubled back and headed toward the third fire.

I never made it though.

I tripped on some wire and fell. A net dropped from the trees, entangling me. My ankle felt broken; I must have had rolled it. I tried to get out of the net, but the more I struggled, the more I was hopelessly trapped. I stopped moving all together. There was nothing more I could do.

A ringing explosion sounded off somewhere far away. _Katniss! _I thought excitedly. She had done it; she had blown up the Career's supplies! That meant she was still alive. She'd come find me and save me.

A thought struck me. What if she didn't? What if she decided it would be easier for her just to let me die here?

_No, _I thought. _She wouldn't do that. She couldn't._ But still that sense of dread was there, gnawing at my mind.

I laid there for hours. Once more I tried to escape my confinements, but it only made my predicament worse. I cried silently for the longest time. Day shifted to night and it grew cold. I couldn't reach Katniss's sleeping bag so I lied there, shivering. More hours passed by and felt like a million of them. The sun rose and I wondered if anyone would find me.

A mockingjay perched on a branch and cocked its head to the side, regarding me curiously. It hopped onto the ground in front of me, taking quick, jerky bounces toward me. Its feathers glinted in the sun.

I opened my mouth and sang my four notes. It immediately picked up the tune and fluttered away, no doubt going to share it with its family and friends. It was so ignorant to the world around it… More tears leaked from my eyes and spilled to the ground.

There was a rustling off to the side and I attempted to crane my neck to see its source, but it was unfeasible.

I saw the boots of a boy walk in front of my face. I glanced upwards just enough to make out the profile of District 1's male tribute. I think his name was Marble… or maybe Marvel… In his hand he clutched a spear. I screamed. I was so scared. I didn't want to die!

Katniss burst onto the scene. I reached for her and called her name, wanting her to save me.

It didn't matter though. The boy wasted no time and shoved the spear into my stomach. There was a flash of pain that ricocheted through my body. I rolled on my side and curled up into a ball as if this would stop the pain. It doesn't though. It hurt more than anything I had imagined.

"Are there more?" Katniss shouted frantically. "Are there more?"

"No, no, no. No!" I answered, each "no" growing louder than the one before it.

Katniss rushed to my side and cut away the net. I wanted to tell her it was pointless, that I was going to die no matter what. And the pain was so unbearable…

I reached out for Katniss's hand and she grabbed mine. I felt like this connection would keep me alive, keep me tethered to earth.

"You blew up the food?" I asked hoarsely. I knew she did; I had heard the explosion, but I wanted her to talk so it would distract me from the pain that felt like it was ripping through my soul.

"Every last bit," she answered.

"You have to win."

"I'm going to. Going to win for both of us now."

District 1's cannon fired, but it sounded so distant in my muffled ears. The world is spinning slowly, and I want to vomit it's so dizzying. I feel life pulling away and it was like Katniss was disappearing even though she was right there, holding my hand. Yet still, it was like she was pulling away from and I squeezed her hand as hard as I could to keep from her from leaving.

"Don't go," I pleaded.

"Course not," said Katniss. "Staying right here." She pulled me in her lap which sent a burst of pain through my stomach again, but I said nothing. I wanted Katniss to stay right here forever. If she wouldn't leave, then I wouldn't leave. She brushed my hair behind my ear and I thought of my mother. And my family. Them watching me die. It filled me with self-loathing. How could I abandon them? After everything so far? How could I just die?

"Sing," I said softly.

She coughed and began:

_Deep in the meadow, under the willow  
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow  
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes  
And when again they open, the sun will rise. _

_Here it's safe, here it's warm  
Here the daisies guard you from every harm  
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true  
Here is the place where I love you. _

I close my eyes. It was just too much work to keep them open. I didn't hurt anymore, not really. Everything on me was numb; I couldn't even feel my head in Katniss's lap. But that was okay…

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away  
A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray  
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay  
And when again it's morning, they'll wash away. _

I'd be alright soon. There was no need to worry. I'd be alright…

_Here it's safe, here it's warm  
Here the daisies guard you from every harm  
Here your dreams are sweet And tomorrow brings them true  
Here is the place where I love you. _

I opened my eyes for one second but only one second. And there stood Helena, her arms open for me, inviting and secure. Some part of me that wasn't connected to my body ran to her and into her arms. She held me tightly and I was finally safe.

Then my cannon fired.


	18. Epilogue

**Two requests since this is the last chapter so please follow through. For me. As a goodbye.**

**First, please review! It's the last chapter; it would mean so much!**

**Second-Everyone! Search the song "Ghost of You" (by My Chemical Romance of course) and do it right now! I think it fits this story perfectly in a lot of ways. And Gerard's voice is beautiful, as always (and he's freaking adorable.) So listen before you read! Please!**

* * *

So here I am. I've been watching the world play out under me from my little spot in the clouds. It's really quite pretty up here. Occasionally you can just forget everything and melt into yourself.

But not me. I can't forget. I won't forget. Someone has to tell this story to our children and our children's children. History must not repeat itself. I know Katniss has taken care of that, but this is just in case.

Things always happen: some have purpose while others do not. I like to believe my death had an intent, even if it's only to relive my ending over and over to others.

Death isn't as terrible as everyone makes it out to be. Truly, I'm very content here, but maybe that's because everyone I love most in the world is with me. If you think that I'm wrong, I will allow you to have your opinion, but I will have mine and stand firm by it.

Jye is nearby, still as handsome as ever. Helena, with her radiant beauty, sits to the right of me. And Lissany—golden Lissany— is to my left. For the first time in ages, I can feel something flutter in me that has been vacant for so long, something that I have been longing for unknowingly but have found now: happiness. True and utterly pure happiness.

And you know what? Everything works out in the end.

Honestly, it does.

.

Please believe me.

.

Trust me.

.

I'm okay.

.

I'm really okay.


End file.
